Enneagram maturing
in this program
- what is maturity?
- Kohlberg's moral research
- what we know now
- Enneagram in maturing
- the psychodynamic of growth
- general signs of spiritual maturing
you were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?
Rumi
the Oxford dictionary defines maturity as “the state, fact, or period of being mature.” this already begins to give us a view of the concept. maturity is a state, and therefore not a destination. we can be more mature in one moment, and less so in another. it is also an observable fact, in that many (especially those familiar with the territory) will agree in describing the relative maturity of a particular behavior. finally, it may express as a specific time in the life of the person or entity. maturity is an all-day and all-life affair. and yet, the growing process has features that we can notice and understand.
all entities grow, from galactic nebula and planets through all celled organisms, including the human. we can see the process very clearly in watching the life cycle of a plant. it germinates, grows a stem and protective features, and finally produces flowers and seeds. different plants have different time-courses, taking days, weeks, or years to complete this process. for the human, the process of maturation stretches until the last moment of life, the final moment of personal experience.
Kohlberg's research on moral development
one aspect of maturity that the Oxford dictionary does not include is that maturity is not just a state phenomenon, but also moves through stages that can be observed, measured, and described. in the 1960s, Lawrence Kohlberg researched moral values, and how different people came to and expressed their sense of justice. he created a story around a man named Heinz, and posed the following dilemma to the participants in his research:
Heinz’s wife is dying from a particular cancer, and doctors say that there is a new drug that might save her. the drug was developed by the local chemist, and he was charging ten times the amount it cost him to develop the drug, making it unaffordable for Heinz. Heinz was able to raise half the money, getting help from family and friends. he explained this to the chemist, saying that his wife was dying, and asked whether he could have the drug now and pay the balance later. our chemist refused, claiming the discovery gave him the right to make money from it. later that night Heinz broke into the pharmacy and stole the drug.
the questions posed to participants were:
- should Heinz have stolen the drug?
- would it change anything if Heinz did not love his wife?
- what if the person dying was a stranger, would that make a difference?
- should the police arrest the chemist for murder if the woman dies?
Kohlberg, in reporting the responses of participants, recognized a pattern. three broad categories or stages of maturity were identified and named for the first time. these three stages are pre-conventional, conventional, and post-conventional. when we see the results it is clear that some people operate from an earlier stage of maturity (pre-conventional), others tend to conform to societal rules and conventions (conventional), and some people tend to choose options that seemingly were not available to the first two stages (post-conventional). here’s a summary of part of the results:
| pre-conventional | conventional | post-conventional |
|---|---|---|
| child-like, simple “yes-no” thinking | regulated thought from typical adult | integrated morality, and contextualized response |
| characterized by pain-pleasure and punishment-reward principles | conforming to the conventional societal rules | interprets every situation contextually and finds a solution, even if unconventional |
|
|
|
| Heinz should steal the drug only if he’s sure not to be caught | stealing is wrong (good boy/good girl) | life/love is more valuable than a rule, and such a rule can be broken within the appropriate context. |
the beauty of this experiment is that it can be used to investigate any moral or ethical issue, for example, “should i drive through a red light if i have a person in the car who needs a hospital urgently?”
pre-conventional: yes, but make sure not to be
caught.
conventional: the rules or laws are more important than a
single
life, so no.
post-conventional: i can obey the principle of safety by
checking
whether there are other cars, and if none, proceed
safely through the red light.
choosing to interrogate your perspective in any way, and to consider the experiences of the people around you, doesn’t just threaten the ego; it can also seem like an inconvenient use of energy, especially in moments of disagreement.
Kristina Kuzmič
what we know about maturity now
- there aren’t better and worse stages of maturity. there is no comparison between the stage of the baby and that of an old person. they are simply different stages of maturity, each with its needs, challenges, and problems.
- later stages of maturity build on earlier ones, and we can’t skip stages.
- stage of maturity is visible to self and others if one knows what to look for. if a state (not thought) is repeated, it can stabilize into a stage. the more time we spend at a certain stage, the more it becomes the predominant “center of gravity” of maturity.
- later stages of maturity are not better than earlier stages. it is true that if we compare adults, those at later stages of maturity tend to act with more compassion, inclusivity, and thoughtfulness than those at earlier stages. however, there is no value in denigrating those operating from earlier stages (and this will certainly not inspire them to mature). all stages have their place and value, and we must all move through the stages sequentially.
- as with all entities, the earlier stages have the pattern of gaining or growth, and the later stages the tendency of letting go or dying. the death of each stage is the birth of the next.
awareness is the greatest agent for change.
Eckhart Tolle
Enneagram in maturing
through the excellent work of Don Riso and Russ Hudson from the Enneagram Institute, we’re informed that our personality is, in fact, a detailed reminder of the ways in which we are in a “waking sleep.” the personality grows around our defenses, which themselves grow around our core wounds. we are more than our personality, just like we’re more than our thoughts or feelings. “as such, the personality types are really catalogues of our own particular case of mistaken identity, and they contain a considerable amount of bad news for our egos,” write Riso and Hudson.
maturing means growing beyond our ego limitations. yet, to do this, we first need to understand how our ego devolves and evolves. when we know this process, it is easier to notice ego and how it functions. it becomes possible to regulate the psychological processes that support us in evolving. this is everyday work, in every relationship.
the Enneagram identifies nine levels of growth, ranging from one as the latest level and nine the earliest level of maturity. these nine levels have no correlation with the nine types, and each type encompasses all nine levels. the levels one to three make up the mature or most healthy states of the personality. levels four to six make up the average, and seven to nine are the most unhealthy stages of functioning. Riso and Hudson give these levels names, hinting at the qualities or states in each level.
our states change all day long, and we move up and down through the levels. and yet when we do the work, our predominant level (center of gravity) slowly moves into later stages. by understanding what happens at each level, we can begin to recognize the patterns in our personality and functioning.
through this evolution and devolution, we can see the process through which identification enslaves us, causing us to function more and more pathologically. fortunately, when we have this knowledge about ourselves and are willing to be mindful and self-aware, we are enabled to regulate this process and help ourselves back to healthy levels.
let your presence be something that convinces the world.
Ken Wilber
mature levels
at level one, which Riso and Hudson calls liberation, we are simply awareness, disidentified from an ego (personal self) and functioning at the latest level we currently know. we tend to be profoundly creative and free of a forced uniqueness or self-image. we are in a state where nothing is amiss, and we may be experiencing contentment or a subtle bliss.
at level two, or the psychological capacity stage, our basic fear and basic desire begin to operate as a personal self, so that we form an image of who we want to be. at this stage we are probably the best we can be towards others in the world, but still limited by our identification with a good and bad self.
when we further devolve into level three, we are of deep social value to the world. we now relate to others through the strengths and gifts of personality. because we’re connected to values at this level, we live authentically through those values, and have a clear desire as personality.
to devolve from the mature to average range, we cross a boundary that Riso and Hudson calls the “wake-up call.” this wake-up call is the behavior, thought, or feeling that can wake us up to realizing that our stress is increasing. when the call is not heeded, the personality becomes more self-identified and devolves into imbalance or self-doubt. when the wake-up call is recognized and heeded, we can remain in higher functioning (i.e. the first three levels).
average levels
level four is where most conventional people find themselves. Riso and Hudson calls this stage imbalance because we begin to lose connection to our mature functioning and devolve into average functioning. self-doubt enters and the attachment to our self-image grows stronger. we become more egotistical. either/or thinking increases and we become defensive. self-sabotaging behavior becomes visible, and we feel that there is a role (the social role) that we must act out.
level five is the level of interpersonal control. there is now enough fear or anxiety to manipulate or control others to meet our needs. there is a powerful identification with our role and self-image and a need for this to be validated by others. this easily leads to the next devolution.
level six is called overcompensation, as this is its main characteristic. we’re now feeling desperate and willing to consider measures that may be painful to ourselves or others. we begin to put others down to feel better about ourselves and our reasoning becomes very polarized around “right” and “wrong.”
unhealthy levels
further devolution leads to a red flag fear for the personality. this is the very fear that makes the personality spin out of control, devolving into unhealthy functioning. at level seven we have violation/addiction, and at level eight, delusion/compulsion. if there is no net to catch the person at this point, the personality devolves into level nine, destructiveness, which manifests either towards self or others.
let’s flesh it out a bit if you want to understand more deeply. remember that each stage can be devolved from (into an earlier stage), or evolved from (into a later stage). we evolve and devolve between level one, as presence, and level nine, as fragmented ego:
1 liberation
- let go of self-image
- disidentified from personality qualities
- we experience ourselves as that which was sought
- basic desire becomes fulfilled.
2 psychological capacity
- full potential of personality
- identify with qualities or values (devolving); disidentify (evolving)
- self-image based on specific qualities (at the same time distancing from others)
- although identification with particular values is subtle at this stage, it leads to identification in the next stage (by defining who i am, i also identify who i’m not)
- basic fear and basic desire arise.
3 social value
- stronger identification with self-image to reinforce such
- relate to others primarily through strengths and gifts of personality
- want to help, teach, and strengthen others in reaching full potential (acting with other’s best interest in mind)
- self-image is reinforced by expressing its qualities
- confident in ability to cope in the world, because of belief in values
- can allow different opinions
- behaviors outside self-image create anxiety and loss of confidence.
wake-up call
behavior, thought, or feeling that may wake me up to realizing that my stress is
increasing. when wake-up call is not heeded, personality becomes more identified and devolves into average
functioning. when it is
heeded, the person brings themselves back to balance and maturing increases.
4 imbalance
- attachment to self-image deepens and we believe that striving after the qualities at level 2 will meet our needs
- focus on self-image leads to narrowing of scope of concern or attention
- idealization of qualities or values takes place and worldview polarizes (“what we value” vs. “what we fear”)
- there is still some middle ground at this level, however we have difficulty dealing with situations that fall in this gray area (either/or thinking increases)
- we use the qualities we value to measure others
- we give in to the temptation (passion) related to our personality, and this “quick fix” may well be self-sabotaging
- to prove our self-image, we relate through our social role (and only participate when that role has validity)
- we feel frustrated when we cannot act our role, due to our confidence depending on others’ validation of this role.
social role
this is the typical role that the person, in an average state of maturity, would play in
their social environment, at work, or within personal relationships.
5 interpersonal control
- main strategy of personality is employed to manipulate and control others in interpersonal relationships
- insist on having self-image and role accepted, leading to tension and conflict
- at this level, shadow presents (and presents the major issue the type must deal with to grow).
6 overcompensation
- our compensation for underlying feelings of anger, shame, or fear now becomes an over-compensation, and we project what we fear in ourselves onto others and the environment
- we are desperate to have others accept our self-image, and willing to be offensive when this does not happen
- we begin to put others down to feel better and employ the leaden rule — do unto others as you most fear being done to you
- reasoning is very polarized (either/or thinking), so that those who do not possess our qualities are seen as inferior (and this can be “proved” by pointing out their lack).
red flag fear
this is the fear that makes our personality spin out of control, devolving into unhealthy
functioning, or the fear that must be overcome to evolve into average` functioning.
7 violation/addiction
- desperate to meet our needs, we are willing to violate ourselves or others, resulting in serious conflict in which we experience ourselves as the victim
- there is a feeling of having been violated by life, leading to more terrified behavior
- tendency to indulge in substances to alleviate pain or numb out
- this avoidance of dealing with real issues leads to dysfunction and collapse.
8 delusion/compulsion
our dysfunction now leads to delusions and compulsions; we're in survival mode.
9 pathological destructiveness
the person becomes dangerous to self or others.
let’s bring it back to the practical level. in the related sources section, you’ll find the outline for each type. it remains your responsibility to change it into your language, through which you can notice the changes in your behavior and find ways to help you back to healthy functioning. we’ve used the names for the different stages in each type as suggested by Riso and Hudson.
this program’s understanding will be enhanced if you also work your way through the Leadership Maturity Framework. but before we go there, let us for a moment ponder the general signs of spiritual growth. we will get more deeply into spiritual maturing in a later program, but for the sake of our discussion here, we will define spiritual growth as any movement beyond the ego. in its most simple form, it is simply helping yourself back to a later level of functioning.
general signs of spiritual growth
life only becomes available to us to the extent that we give ourselves to it. It demands creativity rather than conformity.
Suzuki Roshi
painful experience
a life that seems stable and purposeful can fall apart at any moment. this can happen through any severe loss, and typically happens naturally throughout life. when it happens, the world no longer feels safe, and you don’t recognize yourself. as we mature, our capacity to make sense and take different perspectives expands. this means that we continually change the ways in which we reflect on life. when our interior life becomes more awake, we perceive more deeply. we begin to question everything about ourselves, and often uncover a lot that has previously been unconscious. this can be an overwhelming experience, as it is so different from our ideals, and yet, it is the best indication of deeper growth. do we need difficulty to grow? no, we naturally mature through experience, but facing hardship calls more deeply and urgently on the psyche to adapt and grow.
increasing awareness of thought processes and identification
as we mature, we become more self-aware and willing to be mindful and self-regulating. you may notice the thought patterns that cause you trouble and may understand enough about yourself to see how these problems can be faced and overcome. later, you may realize how each stage of maturity takes you through different perspectives, orientations, and sense of purpose. at this point you may also understand the importance of meditation. you will be aware of the need to disidentify from overwhelming emotions and thoughts, and will probably be practicing this capacity in meditation and in daily life.
deeper awareness of purpose and values
inhabiting an increasing number of perspectives challenges us to bring our purpose and values in line. at this point in our development, we are also able to use values as a way of self-regulating. we can put our needs on hold for the chance to give expression to a purpose or value. meditation deepens into disidentification of self and identification with value or being. we find ourselves increasingly not doing meditation, but being meditation.
signs, messages, synchronicity and serendipity
as we identify less with self and more with values, our perspective also expands, and we are open to more kinds of information. we begin to notice and make sense of broader systems and patterns, and often feel as if answers are provided when we need them. in those moments or periods, life feels very much like a flow, and more happening from us than to us. our more subtle senses, like intuition, pattern-recognition, and empathy increase in capacity and experience, and this experiential knowledge feels more real and worthwhile than conceptual knowledge. esoteric understanding and the following of an “inner drum” are often visible in the person.
energetic experiences
developing our subtle senses will also lead to some of the experiences typical to these senses. this can come in the form of sensations in the areas of the chakras or the spinal area, or other experiences related to or resulting from subtle state practices. if these senses are highly developed the person may become a healer who is able to not only shift these experiences within themselves, but also in others.
increased solitariness
as we relate to the present moment with increasing depth, there may be an increase in the desire for solitude. we are fulfilled in serving the needs of the moment, and since connection for the solitary person does not only mean connecting to another person, there may be a decrease in socializing and an increase in solitary practice.
to be aware of little quiet things, you need to be quiet inside. a high degree of alertness is required. be still. look. listen. be present.
Eckhart Tolle
