why meditate, and how

welcome to the meditation section in unsui healing. as in the mindfulness section, some of the programs in this section may not seem to you to relate directly to the practice of meditation, but we’ve included them here because engaging them requires stepping more deeply into the self. so far, we’ve discussed mindfulness and the many areas of our life where we can bring deeper attention. from a conventional perspective, most of what we’ve covered appears to be on the “outside”. now we’re turning our attention inward, into the “who am i now?” space, not because we want to contract or avoid the “outside”, but because we want to know this “inside” more deeply.

spiritual truth is not something elaborate and esoteric, it is in fact profound common sense. when you realize the nature of mind, layers of confusion peel away. you don’t actually “become” a buddha, you simply cease, slowly, to be deluded. and being a buddha is not being some omnipotent spiritual superman, but becoming at last a true human being.

Sogyal Rinpoche

today, in our information age, we are blessed to have access to many great meditation teachers. the ones you’ll meet in the meditation section, and later in the being-knowing section, include: Krishnamurti, Sogyal Rinpoche, Adyashanti, Eckhart Tolle, Jeff Foster, Chögyam Trungpa, Pema Chödrön, Joko Beck, Toni Packer, Ken McCleod, Thomas Hübl, Ken Wilber, Rupert Spira, Shunryu Suzuki and Thich Nhat Hahn, among others. these teachers come from different backgrounds, different non-dual schools of contemplation, and different applications of meditation.

meditation, whether Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Taoist, or Muslim, was invented as a way for the soul to venture inward, there ultimately to find a supreme identity with Godhead. ‘the Kingdom of Heaven is within’ — and meditation, from the very beginning, has been the royal road to that Kingdom. whatever else it does, and it does many beneficial things, meditation is first and foremost a search for the God within.

Ken Wilber

meditation is not something you do, but an innate state that you step into, whenever and wherever you are. ultimately, meditation is who we are, rather than something we do. the state leads to peace, discernment, and clarity. these qualities are cultivated by bringing ourselves into the state where we directly experience the awareness of awareness, again and again. in other words, we are aware of being aware of the contents of our mind. we watch, gently and with focus, all the stuff that parades through mind. as ability increases, we bring this state into our daily activities. the result is not difficult to recognize, and is felt as peace, clarity, presence, impartiality, restfulness, and the lack of need. initially, the practice is not easy, because we are so identified with our thoughts and feelings. we believe our thoughts and feelings to be who we are. who we really are, in fact, is the awareness within which those thoughts and feelings take place. when we shift our identification (“who am i?”) from mind (thoughts and feelings) to this awareness, we can observe mind as an object, and gain deep insight into its nature.

a thoroughly good relationship with ourselves results in being still, which doesn’t mean we don’t run and jump and dance about. it means there’s no compulsiveness. we don’t overwork, overeat, oversmoke, overseduce. in short, we begin to stop causing harm. we’re at home in the world because we’re at home with ourselves. our speech is tamed and when we speak, it communicates. we don’t waste the gift of speech in expressing our neurosis. not causing harm requires staying awake. part of being awake is slowing down enough to notice what we say and do.

Pema Chödrön

there are many reasons why people become interested in meditation. one reason is to find relief from their own inner conflict. from our perspective there are three reasons why meditation practice is essential: the first is the Buddhist perspective, which is that meditation is the release from the suffering that we all experience. for this reason, many people who know suffering deeply become interested in finding a way to see reality differently; to find answers for the painful questions of life, to make new meaning of the suffering and relate to their reality in a different way.

we learn to accept the present moment with an open heart. every moment is incredibly unique and fresh, and when we drop into the moment, as meditation allows us to do, we learn how to truly taste this tender and mysterious life that we share together.

Pema Chödrön

the second reason why we regard meditation as essential comes from the work of Ken Wilber, founder of Integral Theory. Wilber posits that meditation is a social imperative. we will look into why he says this, and how the practice of meditation can help us grow, evolve, and mature.

the third reason is simply that meditation helps us to know ourselves and the world better. it wakes us up to our lives, allowing us to live fully and mature fully.

let’s look more deeply into each of these three reasons.

the Buddhist perspective

we may believe that our mind is fairly healthy and our actions are mostly rational. yet, when we look at the confusion we often feel, the reactiveness that plays out in our actions, the longing that drives us, and our typical states of mind, the reality seems quite different. many of us hardly ever experience a moment of peace or stillness. from the perspective of Buddhism, most of us live in continual ignorance. we do not understand how our mind works, and we are unaware that so much of our action is based on cognitive distortions, identification, emotional reactions, impulsiveness, and lack of awareness. when we pay attention to our internal processes, we soon notice that mind is moving from state to state, often rapidly, and simply reacting without comprehending. from the Buddhist perspective, all of this underlies our suffering. to suffer less, we need to see reality with more clarity. meditation is this moment, fully perceived, and not distorted by thought, interpretation, and assumption.

Buddhism is fundamentally a set of methods through which we wake up to what we are and stop the cycle that generates and reinforces suffering.

Ken McCleod

meditation is not only the core practice of Buddhism, but can also be seamlessly integrated with the way we live our life. it originated from the very first teaching the Buddha gave. from the very first to the final teaching the Buddha said again, and again: “i teach only suffering and the transformation of suffering.” the original teaching is called the four noble truths. it was presented in a problem-solving format, typical of the time of the Buddha.

suffering is

in a paradoxical way, the first noble truth is also liberating. suffering is. it is not a mistake, and nobody is responsible for it. it is an unavoidable part of reality, and we experience it in the forms of physical or emotional pain, internal and external change (impermanence), and not understanding ourselves or knowing who we authentically are. the pain of birth, sickness, old age, and death are very real, but the rest is optional. when we see suffering as part of life, it is no longer a problem to be solved or a disaster to be avoided, but a simple fact. it is not personal; life is not against you. indeed, without suffering, we would have no empathy, for ourselves or others.

when we direct our attention toward our suffering, we see our potential for happiness. we see the nature of suffering and the way out. that is why the Buddha called suffering a holy truth. when we use the word ‘suffering’ in Buddhism, we mean the kind of suffering that can show us the way out.

Thich Nhat Hahn

the origin or root of suffering

when we live with lack of awareness, we also easily repeat three reactions to circumstance. we either want more of it (attachment), want less of it (aversion), or don’t care (indifference). these three poisons set us up for pain. our expectations are perpetually dashed, and the result is constant dissatisfaction and resistance to reality. what we have we may lose, what we want we may fail to get, what we don’t want may continually confront us, and what we’re indifferent about is not even fully allowed into awareness. all these ways of resisting reality, or failing to pay attention to it, cause us suffering. and this suffering is ultimately needless.

the solution

we can choose to align with reality; to live with full awareness and understand the mind and its nature. we can wake up and bring attention to our habitual and unconscious patterns. we can understand that we, and those around us, are affected by what we do and consume. we can see that turning towards problems is a more compassionate approach than trying to avoid them.

false suffering is when we feel pressed down, as though the suffering were coming from the outside of ourselves. true suffering is just bearing (as in carrying) it, not opposing it, but absorbing it and being it.

Joko Beck

the way

the eight-fold path is the solution to suffering brought to every aspect of our lives. it consists of three disciplines unfolding as eight factors of conscious living.

the word “right,” is not used in a dualistic sense, as in “right versus wrong”. Alan Watts probably best described its meaning when he paraphrased it as “complete view,”, “complete effort,” etc. when we see reality as it is, these factors are the full (complete) expression of being consciously human.

morality

right speech

right speech means speaking truthfully, avoiding exaggeration, embellishment, derisive speech, or speech that divides people (gossip). paradoxically, deep listening is at the root of right speech. i listen to myself as deeply as to others. i want to communicate authentically, feeling myself and others through speech.

right action

right action means the practice of non-violence toward ourselves and others, and the determination to do good instead of harm. through right mindfulness, every action becomes right action.

right livelihood

right livelihood involves finding a way to make your living without transgressing your ideals of love and compassion.

meditation

right effort

right effort is bringing to the situation what is needed rather than longing for what you want, preventing unwholesome seeds of mind to take root, and finding ways to nourish wholesome seeds of mind. unwholesome means not conducive to growth or right view. traditionally, the seven factors of awakening underlie right effort. these are the wholesome seeds: mindfulness, curiosity, diligence, joy, ease, concentration, and letting go. these factors can be applied in meditation to bring the mind back to the meditative state when it loses balance.

right mindfulness

right mindfulness is the energy that brings us back to the present moment. it underlies all eight factors of the eight-fold path. every time a thought/feeling arises, we can practice bare attention (if you’re not familiar with the practice of bare attention, you’ll find it described in the practicing mindfulness section). when we are agitated, and we simply recognize, “i am agitated,” mindfulness is already present.

to practice mindfulness of the mind does not mean, not to be agitated. it means that when we’re agitated, we know that we’re agitated. our agitation has a good friend in us, and that is mindfulness.

Thich Nhat Hahn

right attention

also called right meditation, right attention means cultivating a mind that is present; the mind that can maintain evenness in the presence of disturbances. another aspect of right attention is allowing whatever arises. nothing is clung to (attachment), and nothing is pushed away (aversion). right attention produces a mind focused on stability and insight into itself.

wisdom

right cognition

also known as right resolve, or right intention, right cognition reflects the way things are; the simple direct facts, prior to all identification and interpretation. body and mind are unified, and we do as we say. where Descartes said, “i think therefore i am,” Buddhism says, “thinking creates an illusory ‘i’, the true ‘i’ is beyond thought and can only be obscured by it.” the mature mind does not rely only on thinking (interpreting according to currently held beliefs) in order to know. our knowing can be much more direct.

right view

right view consists of a deep experiential understanding of the four noble truths: how we create our suffering, how it can be transformed, and how to walk the path of transformation in our actual experience. right view also means understanding things as they are, as opposed to how we want them to be.

we can then see that, from the Buddhist perspective, meditation is the central practice that allows us to live in a way that enhances life for everyone and brings wisdom into action. it is an acknowledgment of the pain and the immense beauty in life. according to this perspective, meditation is the antidote to suffering, and the only way to live a fully conscious life.

that is true wisdom, to know how to alter one’s mind when occasion demands.

Zen

Integral meditation

in fact, transforming our epistemologies, making what was subject into object so that we can ‘have it’ rather than ‘be had’ by it — this is the most powerful way i know to conceptualize the growth of the mind.

Ken Wilber

as was previously mentioned, Wilber claims that meditation is a social imperative, something that is deeply necessary in our age. when we discuss Integral Theory in the meditation section, we’ll see that growth or maturing entails moving from our current stage of capacity to the next stage of capacity. the acquisition of language is a simple example. initially, children only produce sounds; then they gradually learn to recognize and speak words; next, these words are strung together into sentences; and finally, they are able to form arguments.

consciousness develops in the same way, by including and transcending, and with the subject of each stage (“i am x”) becoming the object of the subject of the next stage (“i have an objective view about x and am able to use x”). each stage of development expands on how the concept “self” is felt-sensed. a newborn baby is completely fused with its surroundings; it has no awareness of itself as an entity, separate from the environment. it is all subject, and there are no objects. this is not, as some romantic theorists believe, a state of perfect enlightenment (we will explain why in the Integral section). rather, it is a state of complete unconscious fusion. the infant is identified with everything. it has no objective view, and no ability to consciously act on anything. at about 18 months there is a “psychological birth”; the infant begins to develop an elementary sense of self as separate from its mother and the environment. it now becomes identified with the body. later, when language begins to develop, consciousness shifts again, from a body-self to a syntactic-self. the child can now be said to have a body, whereas before the body-self had it. it is now identified with its syntactic-self (in other words, “i am body” becomes “i am John.”). the child now has the capacity to perform from a more complex and inclusive self than previously, having included and transcended the body-self. a bodily injury will no longer be felt as an affront to the self, whereas being called a rude name most definitely will. as evolution proceeds, the child peels off each previous, narrower identification, and embraces the next identification, which includes and transcends all the previous ones. it disidentifies with the current self-structure in order to identify with the next, more integrated, self-structure.

the point is that because the self is differentiated from the lower structure, it transcends that structure (without obliterating it), and can thus operate on that lower structure using the tools of the newly emergent structure.

Ken Wilber

we can easily find this reality in our experience. when you were fully identified with your body, a cut would have resulted in horror. your whole self was threatened by something unfamiliar and painful. however, your current self does not experience the same wound in the same way. now it is merely a part of your experience to which you attend appropriately. on the other hand, if you are still very identified with your thoughts and opinions, it will feel threatening when someone disagrees with you.

this very same process lies at the heart of meditation, in the sense that sooner or later meditation begins to dislodge the embedded self (subjective self) so that it becomes objective. i begin to see my anger, rather than seeing through my anger (“i am angry” becomes “anger is present”). what was previously identified with, or taken personally, becomes more objective, and the defensive structures are let go, because there is no longer a threat to self. what the old self felt as threat, the new self sees simply as something to tend to. as the defenses release, we become more conscious of what was previously unconscious. in this way, meditation is a profound practice for generally accelerating the unfolding of growth.

it is important to note that there is a world of difference between disidentification, or creating healthy distance, as described above, and dissociation, or creating defensive distance. this difference will be explored in more detail in the Integral section.

the practice of meditation

if your mind is able to settle naturally of its own accord, and if you find you are inspired simply to rest in its pure awareness, then you do not need any method of meditation. however, the vast majority of us find it difficult to arrive at that state straight away. we simply do not know how to awaken it, and our minds are so wild and so distracted that we need a skilful means or method to evoke it. by “skilful” i mean that you bring together your understanding of the essential nature of your mind, your knowledge of your various, shifting moods, and the insight you have developed through your practice into how to work with yourself, from moment to moment. by bringing these together, you learn the art of applying whatever method is appropriate to any particular situation or problem, to transform that environment of your mind.

Sogyal Rinpoche

Sogyal’s words contain the full instruction on meditation. meditation, like mindfulness, is a state, and there is no way we can miss it if we’re in it, simply because there is absolutely no need to change our experience when we’re in the state. we sense peace and an utter absence of problems. Sogyal also points out that we may not know how to awaken this state. we need a method to orientate us to the state. this method rests on our understanding of the mind and its nature; seeing into all the thinking and emotional overlay we bring there. finally, we learn that meditation is everywhere, and we bring whatever methods we know to restore this state, as we go about our daily circumstances, when we lose contact with it. until we realize that mediation is not separate from any action that we take, it is helpful to dedicate some time to a sitting practice every day. identify a time when you know you will be relaxed and alert and give yourself fully to the practice. the only way meditation can become real in your life is to start with a dedicated sitting practice, where you develop the courage to be with your experience, fully and nonjudgmentally.

in the beginning, the hardest part may be to actually get to the practice; to maintain motivation and momentum. though it is simple, it is not easy, and, particularly in the beginning, it can feel like torture to sit with an aching back and racing mind, feeling totally lost and like you are “failing” at the practice. it is helpful to know why you’re practicing, and to remind yourself of this. it is important to keep inviting yourself consciously to the practice. you can see it as time spent with your own mind; a time where you give attention to yourself. the more clearly your intentions for the session are specified, for example “i want to pay particular attention to the sleepiness and find a way to work with it,” the more easily your attention will be dedicated.

we’re not trying to change ourselves, but rather to know ourselves more deeply.

setting an intention is not about wanting a particular outcome, but rather about becoming more aware of what is actually happening. rather than making a big deal about where and how to sit, simply focus on having a relaxed and attentive posture. too relaxed will result in slumping and dozing off. too attentive will result in anxiety, self-criticism, and vigilance. none of those are really attention itself, they are the products of over-thinking. we want to allow the thinking mind to relax. we want to be available to ourselves. we want to know ourselves so that we can better support ourselves.

notice tension in your body, and especially in the face around the eyes and mouth. let the face relax. be aware of places in the body that do not easily relax. breathe into these spaces. if they don’t relax, then relax with that reality. just let it be what it is, without trying to remove it.

stabilizing the mind

you are the sky. the clouds are what happens, what comes and goes.

Eckhart Tolle

the first thing we do after settling the body is to settle the mind. this means allowing the moment to be exactly as it is; allowing the feelings that are present to be welcome. notice the feelings and relax your idealization. meditation is meeting this moment fully and consciously; it is not an imagined goal to be achieved. have a sense of being here in this space, and knowing what you brought in with you. be patient with your experience. sometimes it is easy to stabilize the mind, and other times it is difficult. it does not matter which arises, because you are here to attend to yourself.

use the breath

meditation has an object, or focal point. in the beginning, it is useful to focus on the breath as the object of meditation. this is the object that you keep coming back to whenever mind drifts into thinking. you simply come back to the sensation of breathing. every outbreath can be a letting go, allowing for deeper relaxation. every inbreath can be a rejuvenation and deepening of attention. the breath is also our first experience of impermanence. it is continually coming and going. we are staying present with the impermanence of things; impermanence of thought, sight, and sound. rather than “watching the breath,” let yourself slowly become just this breathing body, this body that breathes by itself. always remember that we are looking for a state, not a mind that quietly says: “now i’m doing this, now i’m doing this.” when we allow ourselves to become the experience, we feel-know the state of meditation.

be aware of your breathing. notice how this takes attention away from your thinking and creates space.

Eckhart Tolle

expand the attention

once the body is settled and we have a relatively continual awareness of the breathing, we can expand the mind. we become aware of the senses and their information: the pressure of your seat, the sounds you hear around you, the changes in the visual field if your eyes are open, the feeling of air against the skin, the stillness of the space. as with the space around us, we become naturally awake to all the objects arising in our interior space, learning to befriend each and every one of them.

and what about thought?

thought will appear as soon as we try to stabilize the mind. notice how you’re questioning yourself and your situation. notice how quickly you interpret the situation as “right” (desirable) or “wrong” (undesirable), or how quickly you decide that this is or isn’t meditation. meditation is exactly that noticing. it does not matter what it notices, it matters that it notices. it is knowing where i am from moment to moment.

thought will naturally arise, especially if we’re not accustomed to sitting still and being silent. initially, it will be like a torrent: “am i doing this right?” “this is too easy to be true,” “i can’t do it,” “i need to think about that project,” “meditation is not for me,” and so on. the mind is identified with and used to thinking. we also believe that our thinking helps us solve problems. sometimes that is true, especially when our thinking is clear and focused. however, most of the time our thoughts are scattered everywhere, every moment. and we can allow ourselves to see this. instead of focusing on the content of the thought, we focus on the feelings or meaning behind the thought, recognizing the message of the thinking. and then we simply let the thinking go, bringing ourselves back to our object, the sense of breathing, expanding our attention again into sensation and the space around us, allowing ourselves to feel the stillness inside and outside.

so you sit in meditation, and you simply “witness” what is going on in your mind. you let the monkey mind do what it wants, and you simply watch. and what happens is, because you impartially witness these thoughts, fantasies, notions, and images, you start to become free of their unconscious influence. you are looking at them, so you are not using them to look at the world.

Ken Wilber

and strong emotion?

through all the ups and downs of our practice, we can be there to fully experience what is happening. when strong emotions are present, they are as welcome as sensations, perceptions, and thoughts. and yet, we’re not interested in their story, only the way they manifest in the body, and how we can gently make more space for them; how we can touch them without fear. take heed of your expectations. if you came to meditation to find a way to be unbothered, you’re in the wrong place. sometimes our experience is unbothered, but most of the time it ranges from seriously bothered to a cynical “i don’t care.” you are here for all of these experiences. each of them is an opportunity to bring deeper awareness. we want to create a relationship with each of them, as they will appear again and again, just to teach us that they’re not the enemy, and that they are what our mind is made of. the reality is that there is no such thing as a bad meditation. the state itself has no limitations; it will present in every form. your task is to be there for it, to be the space which allows it, without becoming disturbed. and when you do become disturbed, to not be so disturbed by that, instead finding ways to support yourself or regulate the emotion.

we are learning to be with everything that arises in our awareness, allowing it to come, to be, and to let go.

let’s use an example. i’m angry, and it is time for meditation practice. i have firstly to overcome the energy of anger, as it does not want to sit down. so, maybe i do some deep breathing. in the meantime, mind is racing with thoughts, memories, and painful feelings. i’m aware of that too. and i know that sitting with it will be helpful, even if it just clears my mind. i may even invite myself to look at the situation fully. if it feels too uncomfortable to sit still, i can even write out what is happening in my mind, listening to all the thoughts and feelings that arise. and now i can take one step deeper, by really looking at the situation from different perspectives: my perspective, the possible perspective of another person, and what a good friend might say about the situation. notice as the mind becomes clearer and more still. work with yourself to go deeper and stay focused, either on the emotion, or on the breath. let yourself rest from the emotion in the sensation of breathing. ask yourself: “what is it i can do, or not do, to calm myself even more?” if the stillness increases, i may notice how the senses come to the fore — the sights and sounds around me. at this point i may remember that the meditative state is one of calm acceptance of whatever is present. if i can reach that state, i can simply hang out in it, taking in the peacefulness of it, feeling its problemless nature — a nature of simply, attentively being. the more we practice in this way, the quicker we can find our way back to the settled and healthy mind the next time we feel disturbed.

come back to square one, just the minimum bare bones. relaxing with the present moment, relaxing with hopelessness, relaxing with death, not resisting the fact that things end, that things pass, that things have no lasting substance, that everything is changing all the time — that is the basic message.

Pema Chödrön

how long?

it is far more important that your effort leads to the meditative state than how long you sit. meditation is not something you do for a number of minutes, and then stop doing. meditation is who you are, right now, and then again in the next moment. we use the sitting practice deliberately to become aware of our current state of mind, moment to moment. when we realize this, our effort becomes more directed. we focus on recognizing and maintaining the state (or the closest to it we can come) and then we simply rest in that state for as long as we can or want. the longer you are still, applying the right effort, the more mind will quieten down. it is like mud that has been swirled in water. if the swirling stops, the mud will eventually settle. the effort we make in formal practice is to stop the swirling, to come to rest and get out of the way so that the meditative state, which is our natural state, can manifest. as we will come to see, the greatest benefit of stilling the mind in this way is that its capacity to arrive at insight increases.

meditation is befriending yourself

our life is an endless journey: the practice of meditation allows us to experience all the textures of the roadway, which is what the journey is all about.

Chögyam Trungpa

meditation is making friends with your mind, with its sensations, thoughts, and feelings. meditation is this moment, fully perceived. every experience, every moment of life, is new. it is mind that remembers, interprets, projects, and identifies. again, and again. it is also mind that can be peaceful, untroubled, and clear. meditation helps us relate to life directly, without the conceptual and emotional overlay.

only through the empty mind of the watcher can the haiku-like moment be realized. the pure experience of the moon on the water evokes a quality of life that just is.

Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

meditation helps us create and cultivate a friendly attitude to our feelings and experiences, including those we may not like. when we are willing to sit with all the phenomena of mind, regularly, we are creating what Buddhism calls maitri: an unconditional friendliness to experience. it is this state that allows us to see perfection in imperfection.

meditation is training ourselves to be with ourselves, no matter the circumstance. some common experiences for the meditator are boredom, restlessness, pain, and feeling heart-broken. these are all forms of not feeling good. and yet, knowing where i am feels good, and knowing how to be with myself when those states are present feels good.

nothing can "distract" you from meditation, when everything becomes a part of meditation. this is meditation without a path, without a goal, without a script. It is meeting everything within you as a good friend...

Jeff Foster

meditation is a meta-practice, and therefore influences every aspect of our life. Shambhala Buddhism identifies the following qualities that we develop through the practice:

steadfastness: becoming loyal and respectful to ourselves and others

clear seeing: the ability to see what is, and what thought and emotion overlay

courage: to be with our experience and outside our comfort zone

becoming awake to our lives: learning to relax with the new or the unknown, by allowing this experience to be just what it is

no big deal: ascribing value to our experience leads to the fear of having it or losing it. through the practice, we develop a “no big deal” attitude, not in a cynical way, but in a light-hearted and flexible way.

the root of suffering is mind — my mind. at the same time, the root of peace or happiness mind — my mind.

Pema Chödrön