the later stages

i am not what happened to me, i am what i choose to become.

Carl Jung

welcome back. in our discussion of the early stages, we saw that during these stages our knowledge increases, we become productive, and we experience increasing independence. if we were to compare our maturing with the life cycle of a plant, this would be the budding stage. our full flowering happens at the later stages, when we have much deeper knowledge about ourselves, others, and the world. we increasingly recognize our assumptions, shadow, and other unconscious material. we see our illusions, delusions, and fantasies. our ability to be present to our experience and to others expands. paradoxically, we now grow through letting go rather than accumulation. the later stages are not easier, but richer and more meaningful. remember, anyone can get stuck at any stage of maturity. while most of us will reach at least the skill-centric stage, there is no guarantee of further development. indeed, about 75% of humanity currently functions at the group- and skill-centric stages. we will investigate the process of ego maturation more deeply when we discuss Ken Wilber's Integral Theory.

a deeper look at each stage

so far, we've looked at the process of maturation from a differentiated self (self-centric), to a becoming self (group-centric), to an objective self (skill-centric), and finally a psychological self (self-determining). in the later stages the individual matures into an independent self (self-questioning), then to an actualized self (self-actualizing), then to a construct-aware self (construct-aware) and finally to a transcendent self (unitive). let's look more deeply into these postconventional and transcendent stages.

the self-questioning stage

it is easy to live for others, everybody does. i call on you to live for yourself.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

worldview

this is the first post-conventional stage. the individual has developed a fourth person perspective and realizes that their interpretation of reality is not necessarily reality. consequently, they begin to lose the belief in an objective reality. the same event can evoke very different experiences for different people, and so meaning is seen to be relative and self-constructed (interpreted). the self-questioning individual sees the unique differentiation of every individual and begins to make sense of themselves from this perspective, which brings about a significant change in orientation. the participant observer— who influences what they observe— becomes visible for the first time.

individuals at this stage want to do things in alignment with their nature and values. they abandon rational analysis for a more holistic and organismic approach. at the previous self-determining stage the mode of thought centered around a scientific and objective method. this mode is now gradually replaced with a more holistic approach, where feelings and context are included in reasoning. the individual turns inward in search of their unique qualities and passions. they become self-examining, contemplative, and introspective. paradoxes are recognized, and the relativity of everything is grasped. they begin to see their assumptions about self, society, and convention. their humor is often self-directed and non-hostile.

morality

the self-questioning individual considers subjective experience to be very important. there is a strong movement from “doing,” to “being and feeling.” when groups of individualists are together, room is created for everyone to express their feelings. this tendency can be driven to an extreme, ending in what Ken Wilber calls “boomeritis”: everyone's opinion is considered to be so important that the guiding principles themselves are lost. the shift into the postconventional reflects a shift from a more intellectual to a more organismic, or embodied awareness. however, it is prone to self-contradictions, otherwise known as performative contradictions. as it is generally opposed to hierarchy, and fails to distinguish between dominance hierarchies and growth hierarchies, it tends to oppose models based on growth or maturity, relativizing differences between individuals and groups. it wants everyone to have a seat at the table, but does not know what to do when the people at the table start killing each other. examples of performative contradictions include the tolerance of intolerance (valuing self-expression but not knowing what to do with hateful or ethnocentric self-expression), and claims like “there is no absolute truth” (which is an absolute truth claim) and “all knowledge is socially constructed” (except for the knowledge that all knowledge is socially constructed).

there is something infantile in the presumption that somebody else has a responsibility to give your life meaning and point… the truly adult view, by contrast, is that our life is as meaningful, as full and as wonderful as we choose to make it.

Richard Dawkins

strengths

the individual at the self-questioning stage may have a deeper awareness of different sub-personalities inside themselves, some acting differently to others, and used in different circumstances. there is also a strong sense of the body-mind connection. instead of hankering after a future, the individual becomes more aware of the now-experience. introspection deepens the capacity to empathize, and relationships can become intense and mutually rewarding when there is mutual recognition. the capacity to understand multiple perspectives develops, and non-rational information can be included and used creatively in meaning-making. the impacts of cultural conditioning are recognized. in terms of language, “both/and” begins to replace “or/but” (paradox replaces contradiction), and speech becomes deeply self-revealing. when given space, self-questioning individuals can provide creative analyses of the processes in their lives.

challenges

the self-questioning person distrusts conventional wisdom and the purely rational approach of the self-determining stage. they reevaluate the social identity they've inherited and strive to redefine themselves independently, based on their own experience and conclusions. depression at this stage often centers around conflicting parts of the self. the self-questioning stage can be valued for its lack of conventionality, but may also be dismissed as dreaming and overly emotional. this stage finds pure rationalism and an achiever mentality distasteful, and may express this clearly.

characteristics

• become increasingly focused on the experiences of the moment and themselves as experiencers
• may withdraw from pacesetting leadership roles
• may take a “let live and see what happens” approach
• may be increasingly reflective and questioning of their own approaches and the approaches of others
• increasingly apply “systems thinking” where single cause explanations are expanded to co-causing factors and a more holistic view
• may be creative and flexible thinkers who relish thinking "outside the box" and experiment with aspects of their work
• experiment with working in different ways and in different habitats
• interested in self-development and aware of layers of assumption
• depth of relationship and complexity in their lives increase.

growth pathway

the self-questioning individual's growth lies in grasping that, contextually, some things/perspectives are inherently more valuable than others, and consequently, “different” is not always “equal”. spiritual practices need to become the core of self-sustenance. increased involvement in different spheres of life, and deepening awareness through therapy, shadow-work, and paying attention to unconscious motivations will greatly facilitate further development. concurrently, creative expression will facilitate expansion. deeper exploration will lead to finding wholeness within.

the self-actualizing stage

i think of the self-actualizing man not as an ordinary man with something added, but rather as an ordinary man with nothing taken away. the average man is a full human being with dampened and inhibited powers and capabilities.

Abraham Maslow

worldview

at the self-actualizing stage the fourth person perspective expands, allowing the individual to see their experience in the context of developing worldviews and the totality of their lifetime. this allows for integration and discernment of the underlying “rules” of homeostasis and development. with this expanded perspective the person can perceive systemic patterns and trends, and is often appreciated for their strategic capacity. the actualized self no longer automatically conforms to the view of reality or the behavioral scripts imposed by culture. finding no objective truth in any systems, the self-actualizing individual seeks to know how the different systems they are involved in interact, interdependently. they can grasp the balance between larger mission statements and the strategies or practices used to pursue them. they are as interested in the process as the goal. according to Susanne Cook-Greuter, the critical new capacity of this stage is the ability to generate meaning and tell a new story. the self-actualizing individual understands that meaning is an interpretation we bring to experience. they commit to creating a meaningful life for themselves and others through their self-determination and self-actualizing. they become comfortable with constantly shifting contexts. psychologically, they have a well-integrated, autonomous self, and this enables them to accept paradox and tolerate ambiguity. their strongest motivation is to help others to grow.

morality

the relativism of the self-questioning stage is now replaced with personal commitment and responsibility for creating one's own meaning. the self-actualized individual is able to own up to psychological aspects that were previously split off, and are attuned to their psychological functioning. they are interested in psychological questions and can come to terms with inner conflict. therapy is no longer seen as a weakness but rather a necessity for psychological integration. the shadow of personality is significantly integrated, resulting in a new sense of wholeness. there is a decrease in cynicism and distrust, and a deep sense of responsibility to orchestrate among conflicting needs in order to appear balanced. although self-actualizing individuals experience emotion and conflict deeply, they are seen as part of the reality of relationship.

strengths

the deeper integration of the psychological self leads to an increased capacity to tolerate distressing emotion. less energy is spent on defending against internal conflicts. the unfolding of a changing self is observed and constantly reappraised. success is defined as becoming the most one can be, and helping others, personal growth, and self-actualization become the overriding motivations. the individual has a high capacity for diversity, ambiguity, and conflict. they are deeply aware of complexity and interdependence. authenticity becomes a stable quality in their functioning. because they feel things so deeply, they may give expression to principled anger, and will freely express their convictions and principles, which they are typically able to uphold. an increasing depth in self-knowledge allows them to use dreams, imagination, and creativity to gain deeper knowledge. their language is complex and flexible, displaying a wide array of topics and concerns. they try to give a coherent exposition of their thinking and use differentiated psychological vocabulary.

challenges

the central difficulty for the self-actualizing stage is the impatience that is felt with others' pace or lack of growth. individuals at earlier stages may perceive their strong self-sense as arrogance. although conflict is now more tolerable, there is still the need to solve it. the deepest fear for the self-actualized individual is to feel that they are not fulfilling their potential, and if this feeling persists it may lead to depression. their inner processes are complex and demanding to observe, and they may need lots of solitary time for privacy or self-reflection.

characteristics

• participative rather than unilateral meaning-making
• operate within the world of inquiry
• will lead with a paradoxical mixture of fierce resolve and humility in acting as strong agents for constructive change at whatever level of an organization they occupy, testing assumptions and seeking to transform thinking and actions towards a more harmonious perspective
• recognize the importance of ethical principles and mindful judgment in making defensible decisions
• integrity is an important personal value
• process and goal-oriented (“both/and” rather than “either/or”)
• tend to choose what seems reasonable or just for many people in the long run rather than going for short-term gain or victory. they may defend principles they value even at personal risk or cost
• aware that what one sees depends upon one's frame of reference or perspective
• realise that "reality" is relative and what is considered "common sense" may be based on conformist and unexamined beliefs
• trust people to find their own solutions. when they offer help, they are conscious of others' need for dignity and independence
• use light-hearted, existential and spontaneous humor to defuse tense situations
• temporal perspective expands. concerned with extended time periods — looking forward 20 years to the continued success of their work or organization
• reframe rather than break rules where they are seen as limiting or stifling to creativity
• engage with complex individuals and situations
• may bring deep insight to their environment as they firmly value balance between being and doing
• tend to use questions like “how do you see this?”, “what sense can we make of it together?” and “what can we learn from our experience?”

growth pathway

the following suggestions will all help to further growth: work within multiple systems. pay more attention to the flow, synchronicity, and synergy in emerging situations. cultivate an openness to ongoing transformation, seeking wholeness in peers, relations, and communities of inquiry. practice letting go of fear, self, and the need to fix things. focus on in-the-moment recognition of values and vision. explore shadow, the need to stand out, and ego attachment. examine life through artistic expression. develop a spiritual practice and invest in self-transcendence. learn to witness with non-attachment.

there is no pre-mapped intellectual topology path leading to truth. truth is a process of conducting a searching investigatory dialogue with oneself in an attempt to examine and discern the contents of a person's own mind. every person must ask himself or herself what is essential in life.”

Kilroy J. Oldster

the construct-aware stage

worldview

individuals at the construct-aware stage are deeply aware of the pattern and process of development, realizing the centrality of the ego as a point of reference and self-identity. they are aware of ego's clever attempts at self-preservation, and are able to make ego transparent to itself. for the first time in maturation ego can be seen as a constraint, and the individual can learn to move beyond it. all cognition is recognized as ego constructs, and ego is revealed as split off from an underlying essential Being through its constant conceptualization. an awareness of an underlying unity begins to grow. construct-aware individuals begin to realize the absurdity and limitation of most maps, models, and theories, since these “maps” depict reality in opposites, not sensing the underlying unity.

final knowledge about the self or anything else is seen as illusive and unattainable through effort and reason because all conscious thought, all cognition is recognized as constructed and, therefore, split off from the underlying, cohesive, non-dual truth.

Susanne Cook-Greuter

polar opposites like life/death, good/bad, etc. now appear as two sides of the same reality. there is a dynamic understanding of human reality and the complexity of interdependence, and a longing to step beyond the limits of the rational mind and unlearn habitual conditioned responses. attention is paid to automatic judgments and detrimental habits of mind like rumination and over-analyzing, as these actions are recognized as ego's attempts to maintain itself and distractions from an underlying process of being. the construct-aware individual develops insight into ego's tendency to polarize experience, and leans into the opposite qualities of ego's preferences. for example, both sadness and joy are feelings, and can be seen and experienced as such, rather than as “good,” and “bad.” the construct-aware individual is deeply aware of the mental reality created by words. at the same time, they're aware of the necessity of language and how it binds us in interdependent processes. for this person truth can be approached in more than just rational ways. they rely on intuition, bodily states, feelings, and dreams to relate to their reality. there will be a deep interest in meditation and spiritual practice, because it is through these practices that they feel connection with Being, or the source of their truth. they often become proficient in meditative states, allowing for more insight into the nature of mind. it becomes important for them to turn inwards and observe their own mental processes, and witnessing meditation is increasingly brought into everyday situations.

morality

construct-aware individuals are rare in our current society (about 2% based on research). the individual embodies deep wisdom with humility, ordinariness and lightness. the person's experiences are often paradoxical because they are fully integrating opposite sides of their psychological structure. they base their decisions on many available resources, from data to intuition. they often express a knack for doing the right thing in an unexpected way and at the right time. they are capable of friendly contact with adversaries, but are often abhorred by more conventional believers. construct-aware individuals have often been rejected, imprisoned, or simply ignored by wider society. examples include Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, and Nelson Mandela.

strengths

through regular practice of turning inward, the construct-aware person experiences a more direct mode of being in which the knower and known merge and the personal self-sense disappears. states of flow, peak moments, and stillness become part of their general experience.

construct-aware individuals report more often than people at earlier stages that they are watching or witnessing the parades of thoughts and feelings come and go without trying to direct them. thus, they experience moments of freedom from the ego's constant efforts at self-control and self-affirmation.

Susanne Cook-Greuter

in the world, construct-aware individuals may build their own novel organizations or work alone, doing what they perceive to be their most helpful contribution. they may act as catalysts for transformation, and easily let go when they believe their work to be done. their language is complex, vivid, authentic, and often playful. they can work with contradictions and complexity wholeheartedly. they often show deep insight and courage, and are able to have multiple and diverse responsibilities spreading beyond their area of work.

challenges

it is currently a fact of life that there are not many people unfolded to this stage of consciousness. they may feel like they're not understood and too complex for others to appreciate. they are often seen as inscrutable or overly abstract, and may intimidate others with their lack of self-consciousness and comfort with paradox. these realities can leave them with a basic despair and loneliness.

characteristics

• serve the development, growth, and even purification of themselves and others. they will thus often take the role of mentor or "guru" as well as leader
• seek transformation of organizations, not according to conventional goals or principles but according to a higher order of behavior and being. they are visionaries — either inspired or deluded
• see through the filters of symbolic construction
• may appear to most people as other-worldly, speaking a different language or seeing a different reality. thus, others may see them as inscrutable enigmas. they may be seen as overly abstract, spiritual, apparently unrealistic, or even "crazy"
• are aware of and bemused and saddened by the inevitability of paradox in human affairs
• pay deep attention to their emotional and rational processes
• address contradictions and complexity wholeheartedly
• can have a transforming ability to draw together opposites and initiate new directions from creative tension
• can often turn around a hopeless situation by the strength of their insight and personal courage
• will have multiple and diverse responsibilities that will spread well beyond the confines of one organization
• vivid language around the constructed nature of reality; question meaning-making as a psychological defense.

the unitive stage

again and again someone in the crowd wakes up, he has no ground in the crowd, and he emerges according to much broader laws. he carries strange customs with him and demands room for bold gestures. the future speaks ruthlessly through him.

Rainer Maria Rilke

worldview

when we get to Ken Wilber's work in the meditation section we'll see that there are many stages beyond the rational or even postconventional levels, though some of these are still mostly hypothetical (they have not yet emerged, either at all or to any significant degree, but are likely to, given the trends of maturation observed thus far). Susanne Cook-Greuter reports that the data she collected using the Sentence Completion Test did not allow for any finer distinctions within or beyond the unitive stage. however, even at Cook-Greuter's level of analysis, what is clear is that the unitive stage introduces the individual to a whole new way of perceiving existence and consciousness development. up to this point the journey has been made from a self-perspective, whereas at this stage, the “individual” becomes more identified with awareness itself. this brings about a cosmic perspective, as they recognize themselves as one point of the whole of existence. feelings of belongingness and separateness are experienced without tension, and simply as possibilities of Being. they feel embedded in nature, the whole cycle of birth, life, and death, which are all patterns of change in timeless Being. rational awareness is no longer seen as a burden— as in the construct aware stage— but simply part of what assumes the foreground in consciousness. the world is perceived simultaneously as concrete and temporal reality as well as eternal and symbolic meaning.

morality

individuals at the unitive stage have a completely internalized and transpersonal morality. conflict and external demands are part of being and need no resolution, other than to be witnessed. there is no longer desire for particular outcomes, and the unattainable can be let go of.

reality is now deeply experienced at times as the undifferentiated phenomenological continuum or the creative ground of unified consciousness. every object, word, thought, feeling and sensation, every theory is understood as a human construct: separating out, creating boundaries where there are none.

Susanne Cook Greuter

though the adult at the unitive stage is aware of themselves as a separate and unique individual, they also identify deeply with all other living beings. they seem to transcend narrow ego-boundaries. their boundaries are naturally very open and attuned to what arises in awareness.

the term witnessing (rather than observing) can be used here to describe the capacity of people at this stage to metabolize experience without the conscious, willed focus and preoccupations of other adult stages. the Truth is imminent in the universe and can be apprehended in this ready, open-process stance, but it cannot be grasped by purely rational means.

Susanne Cook Greuter

strengths

Maslow described the unitive stage as having the capacity to cherish the humanness in the seemingly most undeveloped beings and feel empathy with them. the name “unitive” stems from the capacity to see the world in a grain of sand. the individual at this stage respects the essence of others and does not need them to be different from who they are. they similarly accept themselves in a non-controlling way. peak experiences no longer have an other-worldly sense but appears in moments of complete ordinariness. their openness to experience allows them to be attuned to beauty and comprehension.

challenges

individuals at this late stage are even more prone to being misunderstood than those at the construct-aware stage. they may be perceived as aloof or insufficiently engaged in pursuits. what is not evident to those at earlier stages is that the unitive person often acts as a catalyst in the shaping of others' lives.

be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. when you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.

Lao Tzu

what makes us grow?

we've seen that, throughout the process of maturing, the subject of one stage becomes the object of the next stage. for example, at the skill-centric stage we are identified with efficiency, and very proud of our achieved efficiency. at the next stage this efficiency becomes what we do (object) rather than who we are (subject), and our identification is more grounded in effectivity and outcomes. with each new stage our perspective expands, leading to greater autonomy, flexibility, freedom, and tolerance for difference, whilst our defensiveness decreases.

nobody can definitively answer the question of why we grow, or why some people get to skill-centric and go no further and others move to unitive, but for most of us growth most likely happens as a matter of course, and unless there is trauma, external events and life changes tend to move us along the ladder of development to at least conventional maturity. indeed, about ninety percent of adults will mature to the conventional levels, and less than twenty percent will move beyond the conventional levels. research indicates that growth to the later stages is stimulated by internal events. the individual has to develop their rational capabilities and allow non-rational sources of information to influence their process. development of cognitive capacities is necessary but not sufficient to guarantee overall growth, and meta-skills including mindfulness, meditation, prayer, somatic work, reflection, and introspection are likely to impact positively on maturing. big life-changes like divorce, death, and loss will influence maturing, as will insights and desires like “i'm not good at…”, and “i can be better at…” life threatening disease and chronic illness or pain will also impact on maturity, as will getting to know oneself better through psychotherapy, alternative treatments, and creative expressions. exposure to other cultures and forms of living also stimulates growth. Susanne Cook-Greuter posits that a negative association with one's current action logic is a strong motivator for growth. this can come in the form of frustration with the limitations of our logic, boredom (overfamiliarity), or disillusionment. at the same time, we may be positively attracted to the next stage of maturity through experiencing a taste of its worldview, having cognitive recognition through insights, or an inner knowing (felt sense). finally, and perhaps unsurprisingly, being attracted to and engaging with developmental models has been shown to aid in maturation.

Ken Wilber, who’s work we will explore more deeply in the meditation section, regards meditation as the most powerful method for development:

...considerable research has demonstrated that the more you experience meditative or contemplative states of consciousness, the faster you develop through the stages of Consciousness. no other single practice or technique — not therapy, not breathwork, not transformative workshops, not role-taking, not hatha yoga — has been empirically demonstrated to do this. meditation alone has done so...as we saw, the reason meditation does so is simple enough. when you meditate, you are in effect witnessing the mind, thus turning subject into object—which is exactly the core mechanism of development ("the subject of one stage becomes the object of the subject of the next").

Ken Wilber

let yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love.

Rumi

underneath you will find a complementary slide set created by Dimitri Glazkov and licensed under the Creative Commons license. you're free to copy, share, or adapt if you give appropriate credit.