| 1: liberation |
- loving unconditionally, humble, gracious, joyous, and generous
- love, and embody love, without agenda
- belief in basic goodness, without having to change things
- let go of forced love
- let go of self-image and belief that they are not allowed to take care of themselves.
|
| 2: psychological capacity |
- loving, empathetic and caring
- “i am a caring and loving person”
- emphasize loving, selflessness, concern, and kindness
- reject care of own needs
- basic fear: being unloved and unwanted
- basic desire: to be loved.
|
| 3: social value |
- relate to others primarily through giving and supporting
- feel glad to be able to give, and believe that they are a good person if they are loved
- desire: to do good things for others
- strategy: reinforce self-image through generosity and service.
|
| wake-up call |
believing that i must go out to others to win them over |
| 4: imbalance (social role) |
- believe that they are without needs and always well-intentioned
- demonstrative and well-intended
- desire to be needed and close to others
- social role of special friend
- wanting to be needed and occupying the role of confidant.
|
| 5: interpersonal control |
- manipulate through creating dependencies
- pride (shadow) stems from seeing themselves as well-intentioned and showing how caring they are
- insist on being seen as loving.
|
| 6: overcompensation |
- feel taken for granted and resentful
- entitled overbearing, complaining, insincere
- guilt-tripping, “no one cares about my needs”
- desire recognition of goodness and virtue
- undermine others through making them feel unworthy of love or attention.
|
| red flag fear |
i am driving friends and loved ones away |
| 7: violation |
- blaming, guilt-tripping, manipulative
- justifying actions as well-intentioned
- hurtful and then try to soothe the pain they’ve caused
- want to maintain belief that they cannot act selfishly
- violate self-image of special friend.
|
