lojong points 6 and 7

lojong point 6: the commitments of mind training

we have thus far dealt with the prelimaries of the lojong (point one) and the main practice, namely cultivating bodhicitta (point two). in point three, we paid attention to the slogans dedicated to dealing with adversity, and point four introduced the practices that we can realize throughout our life. finally, we discussed point five, which encompasses the slogans by which to measure our accomplishment.

point six consists of sixteen slogans. they describe the general commitments we need to make if we are serious about using the lojong to further our spiritual growth. for the Buddhist, commitment to lifework is very much like an oath: something we often remind ourselves of, in order to realign our behavior and our being.

23. always practice the three basic principles

this slogan relates to our commitment to lojong practice. the first principle is remembering to value our commitment; to reaffirm our determination to live a more conscious life. if we pay attention to our daily life, we will become aware of how much energy we squander by being reactive and getting ensnared in personal dramas. our commitment has to become a way of living, rather than a set of rules.

we shouldn’t assume that our life has to be running smoothly in order for us to be successful; we can make equally good use of situations that aren’t working out. we do this by skillfully extracting the most from the least.

Traleg Kyabgon

the second principle is to refrain from distorted forms of thinking. from the Buddhist viewpoint, this means refraining from attachment, aggression, and indifference. we are fortunate to have so much information about emotional intelligence currently available, so we can more easily identify the thinking processes that influence our perception of the world, including psychological defenses and cognitive distortions. another form of distorted thinking is to believe that extreme self-sacrifice is a form of lojong practice. in fact, the opposite is true. self-sacrifice is, in the end, all about me, whereas in the lojong the focus is on others.

the third principle is to refrain from falling into partiality. here we become aware of how we hold different attitudes towards different people, and we realize the need to be more impartial and less possessive, attached, righteous, and angry. we learn to include everyone in our circle of care. tonglen practice is especially helpful in this regard, as we work to send loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity to everyone.

24. change your attitude, but remain natural

lojong is about transforming the way we view the world, not how we present ourselves to the world. changes in how we relate to ourselves and others are far more important than changes in our appearance or manner. the lojong is essentially a way of transforming our self-destructive attitudes and self-obsession. spiritually insightful people feel no need to draw attention to themselves. remaining natural also entails the willingness to blend in with others, especially where we are an outsider. our behavior towards others can be courteous, respectful, and in keeping with the conventions of the community.

talking about high dharma is easy; applying the meaning to the mindstream is hard.

Godrakpa

25. don’t talk about others’ weaknesses

for many of us, it is easier to talk about others’ weaknesses than their strengths. or worse, we gossip to feel better about ourselves, and delight in hearing about the difficulties of others. according to the lojong, these forms of speech and thinking are divisive and counterproductive. we develop a mind that looks for what is wrong and revels in unhealthy functioning. it is better to commit ourselves to an attitude of noninterference and harmlessness, and to realize that talking negatively about others can harm them as well as us. if our motive is anything other than beneficence, it is better to remain quiet. if we really believe that something needs to be addressed, we can do so directly to the person involved, and in a constructive way. in this way, we aim to help, rather than harm.

thus, when enemies or friends
are seen to act improperly,
be calm and call to mind
that everything arises from conditions.
Shantideva

26. don’t think about the affairs of others

this slogan is also translated as do not stand in judgment of others. it is generally best to mind our own business, and to think about how healthy our own approach is. when we think about others, we tend to focus on their shortcomings, obsessing about their habits and actions. when hardship comes to them, we may take delight in their situation so that we can think better of ourselves. we forget that our thoughts about others are simply our perceptions and projections. the “lack” is on our side, hidden in our attitude, view, or discernment. this slogan tells us to use mindfulness to return to now-awareness and focus on what is needed when we become aware of unhealthy mental processes.

in the final analysis, all that appears to us consists simply of appearances to our own minds. we have no access to any absolutely objective realities. a pure mind sees with pure perception, and a polluted mind sees a world filled with pollution.

Alan Wallace

27. work on the stronger emotions first

here we are advised to get to the root of our reactivity. instead of admonishing ourselves, we take our mindfulness deeper, examining the emotions that disturb us most. the emphasis is on seeing the different interactions between aspects of our behavior, and working incrementally with our difficulties. we also learn that it is easier to work with emotions as they arise than to change our character. our disposition towards anger may remain, but we can release ourselves from the aggression of fuming rage. we do this by working within our capacity, but always with the aim of reducing our reactions. you can get more information on working with strong emotion by exploring befriending our feelings and transmuting emotion. these programs focus on the five poisons— the five emotions we suffer with most— and how to deal with them.

28. abandon all hope for results

Alan Wallace translates this slogan as abandon all hope of reward. however we translate it, this practice sounds counter-intuitive to the Western mind. we tend to focus intensely on results and outcomes, and become easily disheartened when we don’t get the ones we want. if we reflect on this, we can see how we set ourselves up for disappointment. we cannot control outcomes, and by focusing on them we ignore the process and what we can learn from it. more importantly, our obsession with outcomes entrenches our self-centeredness and unrealistic attitudes. while it is important to know what we want to attain, it is not necessary to limit the outcome to a single possibility. the more attention we pay to our life, the more we realize that it is natural to start at a, head for b, and end up at c. this is not a mistake, it is a reality, and the more we keep this reality in mind, the more we learn from our journey in life. lojong teachers often use the example of an archer. it is not useful to focus only on the target. the archer also has to be aware of posture, technique, and attitude. we can learn to give ourselves fully to the task at hand, but with no specific outcome in mind.

as practice takes root and begins to nourish us from within, giving us fulfillment, well-being, and happiness in the present, practice becomes its own reward. when is your practice getting off the ground? when you start to enjoy it.

Alan Wallace

29. abandon poisonous food

this slogan heeds us to pay attention to all forms of consumption, including what we listen to, read, and respond to. on a deeper level, this slogan speaks to what is happening in our minds. if we have hidden agendas, our actions may appear admirable, but be poisoned with selfishness. if we are prideful or feel special because of our spiritual practice, we are just focusing on ourselves. desires and thoughts of personal gain can corrupt our good intentions at any moment if we are not mindful of them. our lojong practice is, to a great extent, an alertness practice, sharpening our ability to see more keenly, and to remain aware of our egoic manipulation, motivation, and intentions.

our actions should be their own rewards. the moment we perform a meaningful act, we’ve already been rewarded. expecting a more personal reward is an example of the self-obsessive thinking that keeps us trapped in conditioned existence.

Traleg Kyabgon

30. don’t rely on your good nature

this slogan is quite enigmatic and can be interpreted in different ways. Chögyam Trungpa translates it as don’t be so predictable, in other words, don’t be so habitually reactive. Alan Wallace translates it as do not indulge in self-righteousness. instead of standing in judgment, we can reflect on what circumstances cause behaviors, and cultivate ways of helping ourselves and others. another interpretation is: don’t constantly doubt yourself and change your actions. when you commit to something, see it through. finally, the slogan could be a reminder to not become comfortable with unhealthy mental states that will slowly corrode our motivation and intent.

31. don’t react on impulse to critical remarks

too often, we hear what we want to hear, or we listen only for information, neglecting emotion. some days we are confronted with irritation, anger, and aggression, in ourselves and others. all of this can lead to physical or verbal abuse. angry reactions are impulsive and immediate, and can be deeply hurtful. and if we jump to conclusions, we fail to notice how and what we are projecting onto the situation. this slogan heeds us to refrain from negative conclusions. instead, we can take the time to have a clarifying conversation. we can learn to speak our feelings and needs without launching into an attack.

32. don’t wait in ambush

most of us can identify a time when we, in a challenging relationship or interaction, have waited for the right moment to “strike” at the other. another example of waiting in ambush is talking about something we know is sensitive for another without any consideration. in the interior this plays out as holding a grudge, being resentful, or refusing to let go. as long as these states are active in our minds, it is impossible to practice the lojong, because they run counter to the intention of cultivating our awakened heart, and to states like joy, loving-kindness, and compassion.

the focus of the lojong is on developing behaviors that are beneficial for everyone. each moment can be used as an opportunity to do this. when we spend time focusing on revenge or resentment, we are using our precious energy for something that leads to suffering. when we dwell on the negative, it colors everything, and the world becomes a dark and dangerous place. when we act in ways that benefit everyone, we experience no anger or bitterness.

33. don’t make insincere comments

one way of understanding this slogan is to realize that, by discovering and exploiting others’ weaknesses, we are acting only for our own benefit. we can learn to refrain from baiting others to maintain an advantage over them. another interpretation is that, by being insincere, though we may not directly cause hurt, we are using jokes or barbs to stay clear of what is real, authentic, and beneficial to both. finally, the slogan reminds us that flattery is devious, because it manipulates the other.

in this slogan, we make the lojong commitment not to elevate ourselves by paying false compliments, making sarcastic comments, or blatantly pointing out someone else’s weakness.

Traleg Kyabgon

34. don’t transfer the ox’s load to the cow

this slogan heeds us to refrain from passing our responsibilities onto others, placing them under undue pressure. it is also a reminder to not blame others when things go wrong in order to humiliate or embarrass them, or to save face when we are at fault.

35. don’t aim to win

this slogan reminds us that our fixation on winning and outperforming or outsmarting others is harmful, as it easily leads to pride and arrogance when we perform well, and to resentment, envy, and jealousy when others do well. this does not mean that we shouldn’t strive for excellence. it simply invites us to focus on our own attainment. we can perform every act to the best of our ability, remembering that different people are good at different things.

the Mahayana teachings advise us to compete with our previous selves, using our past successes and failures as the measure of our progress in overcoming old constraints, fears, suspicions, and self-doubts.

Traleg Kyabgon

36. don’t put exchange value on things

Chögyam Trungpa translates this slogan as don’t act with a twist. the slogan is about the need for sincerity and honesty in our spiritual pursuits. spiritual activities used for self-centered motivations can only fail. if we try to manipulate situations to our own advantage, so that we don’t have to let go of our ego, we are just shortchanging others or the situation. we will never experience results if we covet our own gain, or the praise and admiration of others, and allow these to motivate our actions.

this lojong commitment is simply about doing everything we undertake as thoroughly as possible, without sloppiness or expectations of receiving anything in return.

Traleg Kyabgon

37. don’t turn gods into demons

all of us have angelic and demonic qualities, and these qualities can influence or dilute one another. sometimes our actions may appear virtuous, but our intentions are not, and we need to be aware of these instances. the slogan also refers to the belief that our practice makes us more exalted or holy than others. if we fall into this belief, we turn that which is awakened into ego.

all the harm with which this world is rife,
all fear and suffering there is,
clinging to the “i” has caused it!
what am i to do with this great demon?
Shantideva

38. don’t seek others’ pain as a means to happiness

this slogan is about looking for happiness in the wrong places. at times, rather than feeling compassion at the misfortune of others, we derive some pleasure out of their difficulty. we may also wish harm on people we dislike, hoping that adversity crosses their path, or gossiping about their troubles. these actions are motivated by malice and hatred. the lojong practitioner does not seek happiness in others’ pain or draw pleasure from the misfortune of another. in the long run, this negativity tears not only others down but also ourselves. our deepest happiness will come from a wholehearted commitment to realizing our own awakened heart.

lojong point 7: guidelines for mind training

the final point of lojong concerns our approach to mind training in everyday life. the twenty-one slogans of point seven depict the overall spirit of lojong that is necessary if we want to progress in our practice. each slogan is seen as a memory trigger that helps us to call our attention back to the present moment when we become distracted.

if we treat each slogan as a mindfulness practice and memorize them properly, they will automatically spring to mind when the appropriate situations arise and make us more aware of what we’re doing.

Traleg Kyabgon

39. all spiritual practices should be done with one intention

if we examine our minds carefully, we will notice that our thoughts, feelings, and actions are almost entirely motivated by our ego’s needs and wants. what we are working towards is developing the same single-mindedness in our spiritual practice by taking bodhicitta (awakened heart) as the object of our practice.

we don’t need a heavy-handed or aggressive attitude, trying to force our negative tendencies into submission. if we deliberately bring kindness, sensitivity, and gentleness into our thoughts, speech, and actions, we’ll begin to experience a natural diminution of our self-obsessive tendencies. the sole purpose of the lojong is to subdue our self-grasping or egoism. when we use our daily activities to open ourselves to the world with loving-kindness, patience, and understanding, we’ll bring the spirit of lojong everywhere, and we will do everything with one intention. even if our practice is diverse, our bodhicitta attitude will become natural and self-correcting. it is possible to transform all our mundane activities into spiritual practices. for example, instead of being irritated in traffic, we can cultivate the wish for everyone to reach their destination swiftly and safely.

40. all corrections are made in one way

lojong practice does not protect us from adversity and difficulties in life. we may still be affected by bouts of depression, anxiety, and despair. or we may find ourselves being lazy, losing all joy in our practice. we have no choice but to experience these difficulties when they arise. what we can do, with a lojong spirit, is to use such circumstance for the cultivation of compassion. when our own pain becomes the cultivation of compassion, we see life in a very different way. we begin to welcome pain as part of our practice and use it to transform our mind. we look for a real sense of benefiting others, rather than just thinking about it. when we are in pain, that very pain becomes the wish for all others’ pain to be suffered by ourselves, and a gentleness unfolds within us that even soothes our own pain. wallowing in pain and self-pity only generates more negativity, while reflecting on the suffering of others fills us with gentleness, acceptance, and the willingness to hold.

41. at the beginning and at the end, two things to be done

this slogan heeds us to practice awakened heart (bodhicitta) at the beginning and end of each day. no two days are the same, and by bringing our practice to these differences, we accommodate more of our mental states. in the process, we come to associate our experiences with the practice of bodhicitta, and our practice becomes regular and fluid. regular morning practice may help us to clear our minds and face our day with calm and clarity. we can even use this time to check our motivation for the day. evening practice may consist of relieving the mind of stress and reviewing the day by reflecting on our awakened activities.

42. whichever of two occurs, be patient

the “two” mentioned in this slogan are felicity and adversity. we’re continually dealing with beings who are very different from us, and who have different paths, attitudes, and personalities. contrary to how we feel, things never remain static or the same. mind training is the only thing that can center our lives. without mindfulness we are swept along unconsciously, our fate determined by our circumstance.

even if you are prosperous as the gods,
pray do not be conceited.
even if you become as destitute as a hungry ghost,
pray do not be disheartened.
Thupten Jinpa

we are so easily exhilarated by our highs and defeated by our lows. through practice, we can become more patient, stable, and grounded. even when life’s trials are upsetting, patience allows us to face them with creativity and intelligence.

whichever of the two occurs, keep your mind spacious, maintaining a sense of equanimity no matter what the circumstances. this is a sure sign of spiritual maturity.

Allan Wallace

43. observe these two, even at the risk of your life

by engaging in everything that’s wholesome and refraining from everything that’s unwholesome, you will tame your mind. that is the essence of my teachings.

Buddha

Buddhism teaches that we should not approach our life with expedience, but rather in the context of what benefit it could bring. we should abstain from things that are unsavory, even at the risk of our lives. an extreme example would be to be forced to shoot someone else at gunpoint. in this situation it would be better for us to be shot than to follow through on the instruction.

44. learn the three difficult points

recognizing strong emotions
much of our difficulty is caused by conflicting feelings, rather than by other people. strong emotions such as jealousy, covetousness, greed, lust, anger, and pride are difficult to manage. the sheer force of our emotions may make it difficult to even identify them, and we can habitually get swept up by their energy. the first thing we need to do is recognize when these negative feelings arise. we all experience these painful emotions, but they’re not distributed evenly. some people battle with overwhelming jealousy, whereas others have to deal with overwhelming anger. when we’re caught in a strong emotion, there is much confusion in our mind, and our ability to stay grounded is strongly challenged. for this reason, we have to learn to recognize the early signs of our strong emotions.

managing strong emotions
recognition is not enough to change from reaction to response. we can only learn to overcome these strong emotions through practice (see being with emotion and transmuting emotion). part of this practice is meditation and practicing the four immeasurables (see four energetic states of awareness). it is possible to let the emotion dissipate and allow for a response, instead of reacting immediately. when our practice reaches this point, it is truly liberating.

eliminating strong emotions
it is only through transforming the energy of a strong emotion that we can move from a negative state to a positive state. we may first become aware of this ability as we work with emotions in meditation. this makes us aware that emotions are fleeting, rising and falling beyond our reach, and it is only when we grasp at them and build a story around them that they become problematic.

45. acquire the three root causes

it is difficult to deal with our emotions if we’re not in contact with other people, as these emotions are less likely to be triggered when we’re alone. at the same time, we need support from significant others to help and support us on our path of overcoming ego. and, of course, we need teaching to guide our efforts. the three root causes are 1. a spiritual friend; 2. spiritual teachings; 3. a supportive environment.

spiritual friend
the Sanskrit term for a spiritual friend is “kalyanamitra.” this is the person we can turn to for guidance or mentoring. this friend knows us intimately, walks a spiritual path with us, and is there when we cannot see through our own delusion.

spiritual instructions
having access to spiritual instructions or teachings is as important as having a kalyanamitra. a teacher who knows us well can guide our practice and steer us away from blind mistakes and misunderstanding.

a supportive environment
this includes people and our physical surroundings. if we’re going to succeed at spiritual growth, we need to be in an environment that supports our spiritual goals. it is important to carefully choose the people we’re involved with, and finding an environment that is not constantly disrupted is also very helpful.

to dwell in a favorable place, to associate
with worthy people, to practice true devotion, and
to possess good merits of previous lives —
these four great opportune interactions enable you to
attain your purpose in life.
Nagarjuna

46. don’t allow three things to diminish

when we’ve found a spiritual friend, received spiritual teachings, and secured a supportive environment, there are three things we need to maintain for the duration of our lives. the first is an interested humility towards our teacher and the teachings. we remain willing to learn, and we work to keep the connection between ourselves and our teacher/teachings alive, genuine, and strong. the second is joy in our practice. our practice of mindfulness, meditation, and lojong will go through ups and downs, but when we become aware that we’ve lost the joy in the practice, it is time to regenerate our enthusiasm. the third is commitment to the path. we remain firm in whatever commitments we make. the lojong and other Buddhist teachings may be easy to understand, but are much harder to embody.

47. make the three inseparable

this slogan refers to embodiment. the three referred to are body, speech, and mind. if we’re not mindful, our body may be busy with one thing, the mind with something else, and our words bear little conscious awareness of either. for the student of lojong, it is important to let the three expressions be in unison. we walk our talk.

if we can employ body, speech, and mind equally and coherently in our lojong practices, we’ll gradually overcome the habitual patterns that compel us to behave in a disembodied way.

Traleg Kyabgon

48. train in all areas without partiality

from the lojong viewpoint, all circumstance can be employed to our and others’ benefit, and the emphasis is on not allowing circumstance to dictate our practice. maintaining a sense of evenness to whatever happens helps us to maintain impartiality. gradually, we recognize that occurrence is just that, and from the absolute point of view, there is no difference between the good and the bad. they are both just experience.

49. always meditate on difficult points

we need to experience challenges in our practice to test our growth capabilities. from this perspective, difficulties should be welcomed, because it is only by overcoming challenges that we grow. we can gradually bring our practice into situations that we find difficult. for Kyabgon, the distinctive feature of lojong is the importance it places on challenging our understanding, testing our endurance, and stretching our mental capabilities. for the Buddhist, these practices have a transformative effect on our attitude and our karmic disposition.

in samsara, which is like a dream and illusion,
sentient beings roam like blind lunatics,
not realizing the truth that confused appearances have no essence,
those who cling to the false as true get so exhausted.
Godrakpa

50. don’t depend on external conditions

our practice is done wherever we are, not just when we have comfortable conditions. there will always be conditions that we find difficult, and we want to bring our practice right into these places. what we need to learn is that every situation is an opportunity to develop an awakened heart (bodhicitta). overcoming difficult conditions brings deep peace. with continued practice, we can indeed develop a general sense of happiness and goodness.

because everything that i experience is only my own perception, where i am or what i’m doing becomes part of lojong practice.

Traleg Kyabgon

51. this time, practice the important points

the first important point is that other people are more important than we are. when our focus is on others’ welfare, everything that is needed becomes clearer. our practice is not only to make our own circumstance better, but to benefit everyone around us equally. this is the spirit of lojong.

the second point is that practice is more important than understanding. although learning is important, it is more important to focus on the practice and its experience. instead of worrying about our own ongoing problems, we can concentrate on applying what we’ve learned and embodying the teaching.

the third point is that bodhicitta (awakened heart) is most important of all. we want to practice with true feeling and a warm heart, not detachment or cold efficiency. as much as precision and discipline are important in our practice, we can also be gentle, with a “soft spot” in the heart. we can feel our being and the deep compassion it is rooted in.

52. avoid misunderstandings

we can only see things from our perspective, so misunderstandings happen easily, and we can become confused about what to cultivate and what to eliminate from our lives. there are six fundamental errors that we want to avoid in practicing lojong.

misunderstanding patience
we may be good at being patient with the little hardships of life, but not have the same attitude to our spiritual practice. we endure difficulty, but are not willing to change our being. we may put ourselves under immense pressure in our jobs or even in our entertainment, and yet find it difficult to do what is beneficial for our bodily needs. or we find excuses when it comes to giving ourselves to spiritual practice. in so doing, we fail to distinguish between the unimportant fleeting pleasures and the important lifestyle changes.

misunderstanding interest
we may also fail to see the long-term consequences of our little interests. we may have a great interest in surfing the internet, or may waste huge amounts of money on drugs, leading to addictions of varying kinds. yet, we’re not willing to turn our interest to that which will benefit ourselves and those around us.

it's only our delusions that blind us and drag us deeper into darkness and despair. instead of pursuing occupations that lead to a totally meaningless endgame, we should pursue those interests that bring us spiritual nourishment and enrich our lives.

Traleg Kyabgon

misunderstanding how to savor things
our taste for sensual pleasure may lead us into dangerous pursuits. Buddhism uses the metaphors of honey on a blade or drinking seawater to illustrate this. in tasting the honey, the tongue is also cut, and by drinking seawater, we increase our thirst. none of these pursuits help us to mature, integrate, and overcome our psychological difficulties. if we learn to appreciate that which is lasting — friendship, gaining knowledge, integration, maturing — we benefit ourselves and those around us.

misunderstanding compassion
Chögyam Trungpa calls the misunderstanding of compassion ‘idiot compassion.’ it has many faces, but all of them are based on not using our intelligence skillfully to distinguish between worthy and unworthy objects. our compassion may be reserved for only those closest to us, or those who benefit us. or we help because we’re afraid, blackmailed, emotionally manipulated, or coerced into helping. we feel sorry for the difficulties of a friend, but have no response to the untold suffering around us. the real objects of our compassion should be those who have no sense of direction, and insufficient insight to realize that they’ve gone astray.

misunderstanding how to help others
when we join a friend in their complaints, we are not helping. when we turn away from or dismiss emotion, we’re not helping. when we try to make someone feel better, it is often because of our incapacity to stand with them in their painful feelings. extending ourselves to another by helping them see where they are misunderstanding, or how they can work with a difficult emotion, or helping to clarify, are forms of genuine help.

misunderstanding what it means to rejoice
it is not appropriate to rejoice when someone experiences a state of ecstasy as a result of taking narcotics, or when somebody we dislike experiences misfortune. we can rather rejoice in what makes others happy, for example getting promoted at work. and when we see somebody else having a good time, we can rejoice, rather than think, “why is that not me?"

53. don’t fluctuate

we can work towards being consistent with our practice, rather than having an all-or-nothing approach. it is also better for us to practice during our worldly activities than to practice intensively and then fall back into our usual habits.

a person who sometimes practices and sometimes doesn’t, has not developed a definite understanding of the dharma. don’t have a lot of projects on your mind but do mind training single-mindedly.

Jamgön Kongtrül

a stable approach that slowly emerges us into practice is far more productive than sporadic outbursts. we can look at our spiritual practice as having a cumulative effect. we need to be realistic about what we can do given our circumstances. regular practice becomes part of us, while fluctuating practice has little impact.

54. train wholeheartedly

wholehearted commitment means bringing our practice to all our activities and seeing it through to the end. we need to spend our energy judiciously over the long term. courage is an important part of our practice, as it will take courage to bring our practice into difficult situations. furthermore, realistic expectations can go hand-in-hand with challenging ourselves. we all know where we run away or hide from reality, and these are the perfect places to bring our practice. we can learn to deal with our reality upfront, openly and honestly.

55. find freedom through investigation and examination

it’s important to complement the practice of compassion with analytical skills if we’re to gain understanding and insight, because we’ll never be free of confusion without the investigation.

Traleg Kaybgon

from time to time, we need to extend our meditation practice into the cultivation of insight, in order to perceive the nature of mind directly. we need to ask questions like “what is the self?” and “what is ultimate reality?” this is the only way to solve some of our problems and clarify our confusion. learning to know our minds puts us in contact with the experience of emptiness, and this experience transforms our actions.

56. don’t expect gratitude

Chögyam Trungpa translates this slogan as “don’t wallow in self-pity.” another way to understand it is to realize that what we want from others and life may not be forthcoming. we might want to be appreciated and respected, but we have no control over such things. whether others can acknowledge us and our actions should not be our concern. we commit not for reciprocity, but by staying true to our practice. others are never indebted to us, and neither are we obligated to help them. we can do what we do for the love of it.

the work of bringing benefit to beings
will not, then, make me proud and self-admiring.
the happiness of others is itself my satisfaction;
i do not expect another recompense.
Shantideva

57. don’t react impulsively with anger or irritation

it is not necessary to have our instinctual reactions take hold of us. we may think that these actions are empowering, but in reality they only have a toxic effect on the mind and painfully impact those around us. the main point is that we are less likely to act impulsively or reactively when we feel good about ourselves. we can learn to lift our spirits by expressing our feelings and needs in a healthy and fruitful way.

the mind that is full of defects
has nonetheless a multitude of qualities:
whatever is cultivated, that comes to be.
Kadampa saying

58. don’t be like an open book

we don’t need to display every passing emotion. most of our thoughts and emotions are temporary and need little if any attention. we can, instead, show integrity and dignity. dramatic behavior is incompatible with the lojong. whether we are happy or sad, we can remain even-tempered.

59. don’t expect people to make a fuss over what you’re doing

we shouldn’t expect to gain any credentials because of our spiritual practice. we can simply do our practice with sincerity and regard the practice as its own reward. this goal lasts as long as our life. every time we do something for someone else, we’re really benefitting ourselves. that is the whole point of lojong. the reward is in the expansion of our mind and the ability to see and experience truth in the moment.

the goal of every act is happiness itself,
though, even with great wealth, it’s rarely found,
so take your pleasure in the qualities of others.
let them be a heartfelt joy to you.
Shantideva