lojong point 2: cultivating bodhicitta

the Second Point of the Mind Training implies that not only can attention be stabilized, but that the potential of the human mind is so great that it can be used as an instrument for investigating the ultimate nature of reality.

Alan Wallace

having contemplated the preliminaries, we come to the main practice, which is the cultivation of bodhicitta, in our formal meditation practice and in our everyday life. bodhicitta is often translated as enlightened heart, but as Traleg Kyabgon points out, it has two meanings. on the one hand, there are attributes and qualities of awakened being (heart and mind) and on the other, a freedom from defiling tendencies (non-virtuous actions). bodhichitta is an experiential state, not merely an intellectual idea. the experience is of radical openness and a compassionate heart. the result is compassion and wisdom.

while we generally understand bodhicitta to be the benevolent concern for living beings, anyone who genuinely gives rise to it will possess both compassion and wisdom.

Traleg Kyabgon

Buddhism distinguishes between relative and absolute bodhicitta. absolute bodhicitta is the wisdom mind that is brought to the situation, and relative bodhicitta acts as the compassionate heart in the situation. compassion and wisdom are like the two wings that a bird needs in order to fly. without compassion, wisdom can become brutality, and without wisdom, compassion becomes sentimentality.

the first five slogans of point two deal with the cultivation of absolute bodhicitta, and the last four with the cultivation of relative bodhicitta. in Buddhism, the cultivation of compassion is central, because the mind of compassion has the capacity to move beyond discursive thought, conflicting emotion, and self-absorption. it has the capacity to relate deeply and skilfully.

absolute bodhicitta

absolute bodhicitta is the state of an open, empty, clear, spacious, and luminous clarity of mind, beyond concepts and intellectualization. most simply, we know it as an innate wakefulness that is not disturbed by the obscurations of mind, even if they are active. with absolute bodhicitta, even when we are reactive, there is enough presence to notice the reactivity and respond to it. we experience ourselves as nowness observing itself. to cultivate bodhicitta, we need to expand and increase our experience of this natural state, which is more easily accessible in our formal meditation. we need to recognize that this state is the wisdom mind. realizing the state of bodhicitta also allows us to realize that relative and absolute bodhicitta are two sides of the same coin. absolute bodhicitta influences our view, and relative bodhicitta, our action.

in the Kagyu tradition, “resting in the natural state” means that the mind should have mental spaciousness, luminous clarity, and stability. resting in a state where these three qualities are present is equivalent to having a temporary realization of absolute bodhicitta.

Traleg Kyabgon

meditative quiescence

the first five slogans for point two constitute investigations into the nature of mind, consciousness, and reality itself. they are insight practices — like the ones we discussed in cultivating insight — that probe the nature of consciousness. these practices require a stabilized mind, and are usually first investigated in formal sitting practice. in order to do this investigation, we first need to reach meditative quiescence.

what do we mean by meditative quiescence? as we discussed in our programs on practicing meditation, our formal practice consists of focusing on two features of the mind. the first is mindfulness, which is the opposite of forgetfulness. the second is awareness, which, according to Kyabgon, is a state of greater pliability that develops over time as we remove sluggishness and clear away the obscurations.

we are, therefore, refining the mind by training in stability and vividness. stability comes from mindfulness, and vividness is recognized in awareness. meditative quiescence is the experience of stable mindfulness and vivid awareness. remember, these are not ideals or conceptualizations. they are experiences or states that we can recognize. meditative quiescence is always present, but hidden beneath the obscurations of thought, feeling, and distortion. the mind that is trained in stability and vividness can reveal not only insights, but also the nature of phenomena and mind itself.

real spirituality is not just a matter of cultivating wholesome traits and positive thoughts and emotions; it is about learning to distinguish between things as they are and our present confusion about them, and thus gaining insight into the nature of our own minds.

Traleg Kyabgon

cultivating meditative quiescence

to cultivate bodhicitta is to cultivate our capacity for compassion and wisdom. in our formal practice, we apply this awakened heart to seeing more deeply into its own nature, and in our everyday life, we use the awakened heart to respond to situations with wisdom and compassion.

during formal meditation we may soon notice that we have two options. we can follow our thoughts and feelings— thereby elaborating on and identifying with them— or we can rest in awareness of the thought and feeling. the latter state is our natural unidentified state of being, namely the state of absolute bodhicitta.

through mindfulness we establish and hold attention, and through introspection we discern the quality of attention and observe what is happening in the mind. when we engage in this observation of what is happening in the mind, we are less carried away by thought and emotion.

the skill of directing and sustaining attention is more than a marvelous ability; it is the cornerstone of understanding and choosing the reality we wish to experience.

Alan Wallace

meditative quiescence can, according to Buddhist practice, be attained in two ways. the first way is through control of the mind, by holding the mind to a chosen object. for example, when we place the attention on the breathing cycle, we experience a subtle peacefulness or a quiet happiness; a happiness that does not depend on any stimulus or intellectual understanding. we experience a joy that just is.

the second is through releasing all effort and maintaining awareness without distraction and mental grasping. we quietly watch what is happening in our mind and around us, and when mind latches on to an object, we simply let go, expanding the awareness again to the whole field. when the mind quietens down there is only a field of awareness. we recognize the stability by settling the mind in its natural state: the field of awareness.

see if you can draw your awareness into the field in which these mental events emerge, play themselves out, and vanish. let your body be as still as a mountain and let your awareness be as open and friction-free as space. let the breath be natural and unforced.

Alan Wallace

we allow awareness to hover right in the now and its experience, and continuously let go of thoughts that want to refer to past or future. see if you can let your awareness remain at rest, without interacting with thought and emotion, and without judgment of what arises. keep awareness in a state of stillness, like empty space.

attend fully to the very nature of the mental phenomena without giving any effort to creating, sustaining, or stopping these events. let them be, arising, playing themselves out, and dissolving of their own accord.

Alan Wallace

in the release model there is nothing to control or eliminate. the arising of thought is not the problem, our grasping is. if we don’t hold onto thoughts or feelings, they naturally pass. Wallace uses the term “limpidity” to describe this quality of awareness. it is transparent, like glass, but also naturally luminous. when we look into a still pool of water, we experience this limpidity. in our practice, our sense of “i” and “mine” are replaced with limpid awareness of what is now.

the next five slogans are insight meditations that allow for a glimpse of absolute bodhicitta, from the perspective of the natural state. our practice is to increase the number of these glimpses, as they provide integrity for the practices of relative bodhicitta.

2. regard all phenomena as dreams

this slogan is a contemplation on absolute bodhicitta. our most innate and natural wakeful state is an expression of emptiness. consequently, whatever we have to say about the world is like a dream or interpretation. furthermore, all the objects that we believe exist in the world are like reflections in a mirror, as they are created by and made of mind. and the more we search for this mind, the more we realize it cannot be found anywhere.

the awakened view of the self is as an aspect of enlightened body, wisdom mind, and compassionate heart. we can relate and feel emotion. “everything is made of emptiness” does not mean that nothing exists. emptiness is beyond being and nonbeing. everything exists as an interactive, interdependent, and dynamic process. what is, is always becoming, and already changing.

when this is present, that comes to be;
from the arising of this, that arises.
when this is absent, that does not come to be;
on the cessation of this, that ceases.

David Kalupahana

everything we know is made of parts of other things, right down to the atomic level. and it is ever-changing. this is true for the objects around us, and also for ourselves.

effectively, the notion of intrinsic, independent existence is incompatible with causation. this is because causation implies contingency and dependence, while anything that possesses independent existence would be immutable and self-enclosed. everything is composed of dependently related events, of continuously interacting phenomena with no fixed, immutable essence, which are themselves in constantly changing dynamic relations.

Dalai Lama

as you can see, the slogan does not say “everything is a dream”. it does not imply a nihilistic view of reality. the point the Dalai Lama is making is that, when we look into awareness, we discover that what we call “trees” and “chairs” are amalgamations of sensation, perception, and cognition. everything we can know and say about the tree is created within the mind. there is no subject “in here” and object “out there”. there is only a field of sensation and perception. as Kyabgon points out, the assumption of “thingness” has to be scrutinized.

when we look into experience, we find only a sensitive field of awareness that is clear, self-illuminating, and constantly active. we create— rather than discern— boundaries between perceiver, perception, and perceived. in direct awareness, these boundaries do not exist.

awakening to impartial and nonconceptual absolute bodhicitta can only happen in conjunction with meditative awareness. Kyabgon writes: “we need a direct, stable realization of the non-divisibility of emptiness and appearance, and of the suchness of everything. this awakening is not a thought, feeling, or sensation; it is the vast, ever-present luminous clarity of the nature of mind.”

regarding all phenomena as a dream also helps us develop true compassion. when see things as dream-like we are less fixated on particular outcomes, and this enables us to feel more compassion for ourselves and others. the slogan is also not purely philosophical or intellectual. it is an insight practice that enables us to see with more clarity, through direct perception. it allows us to notice the interdependence of everything, and the fact that everything is constantly in a state of flux, never becoming static or separate from existence.

the injunction to regard all phenomena as dreams challenges our habitual view that things have independent existence. the practice enables us to see how the mind projects its own interpretations onto reality. once we see this, we realize that this thought-based projection, and its resulting interpretations, are not reality.

it seems we are forced (by physics, not philosophy!) to acknowledge that we cannot know mind-independent reality as it is. in other words, the world described by science must be considered as being a picture of mind-independent reality, not as it really is, but as it is seen through the selective and deforming lens of our own sensory and mental structures.

Bernard d’Espagnat

Albert Einstein pointed out that it is the conceptual framework that makes data understandable and determines what emerges into experience. and according to Niels Bohr: “we must remember… all new experience makes its appearance within the frame of our customary points of view and forms of perception.”

3. examine the nature of unborn awareness

since mind has no origin, it has never come into existence in the first place. now it is not located anywhere, inside or outside the body. finally, the mind is not some object that goes somewhere or ceases to exist. by examining and investigating the mind, you should come to a precise and certain understanding of the nature of awareness, which has no origin, location, or cessation.

Jamgön Kongtrül

whereas the previous slogan was about the insubstantiality of everything inside and outside us, this slogan investigates the insubstantiality of mind itself. unborn awareness is absolute bodhicitta. it is not a thought, feeling, idea, or sensation. it is the field of Being within which experience arises. whereas experiences come and go, this vast and open spaciousness remains. it does not have a beginning, middle, or end, and it did not appear at some point in time. unborn awareness is primordial awareness.

when we look directly into awareness, we find a knowing nothingness. and when we look into the awareness of this moment, we cannot discern a beginning or origin. unborn awareness is our wisdom mind, enabling us to apprehend the ultimate reality of emptiness. it is unborn because it is not acquired through learning or knowledge. when we truly investigate the mind, moving below all the thoughts, perceptions, sensations, and feelings, we end up with a bare sense of awareness. this is absolute bodhicitta, our true nature. it is always already present, and does not need to attained, but rather uncovered.

our ability to generate genuine love and compassion will be bolstered by understanding that we already possess the wisdom mind that naturally manifests the qualities of compassion.

Traleg Kyabgon

according to Buddhist teaching, after a person is clinically dead, and the senses have ceased, one can still observe the mind. eventually, we lose this mind and all its conditioning. what remains is unborn awareness, or the clear light of death. our recognition of this state in death is dependent on whether it was recognized in life. this is a central motivation for the continuous practice of cultivating bodhicitta.

when we use this slogan in formal meditation practice, we turn the attention on itself, observing the observer. without anything to meditate on, we turn our attention in the sphere of space. as our meditative quiescence increases, we steadfastly observe the consciousness of this moment. is there something there? or is there simply spontaneous living emptiness?

we’ve already discussed the control and release models for cultivating meditative quiescence, and this slogan provides a third way. we can apply all three in our daily formal practice: 1. strong mindfulness — holding the mind to the feeling of breathing; 2. releasing all effort and objects; and 3. examining the nature of unborn awareness. we know we are making headway when we begin to feel the dissolution of inside and outside, subject and object. even in our daily life, examining the unborn nature of awareness can abruptly bring an end to our reactions and strong feelings. when we look for the unborn awareness in our experience, we come across a simple direct knowing, where a reaction is no longer necessary.

examining the nature of unborn awareness allows us to distinguish between conceptual mind and unborn awareness. conceptual mind is locked into its projections, identifications, and distortions, whereas unborn awareness is nakedly now. it is not personal or impersonal, not right or wrong, not this or that. it is just now, just this.

4. self-liberate even the antidote

Kyabgon states this slogan as: even the remedy is free to self-liberate, and Wallace as: even the remedy itself is free right where it is.

when we feel confused and want to understand something we usually apply reflection or analysis. we see analysis as the antidote to confusion. according to the lojong, the central problem is not confusion but delusion. the delusion is one of reification — seeing ourselves and phenomena as independently real. from the Buddhist perspective, this profound distortion leads to the birth of craving: “i am someone, and i want certain things.” it also leads to blame and accusation.

self-liberating the antidote means we cannot use analysis to get to the root of our problems. in meditative quiescence the subject/object divide falls away. there is no one to analyze and no problem to be analyzed. there is simply the mind in its natural state, experiencing rather than judging.

the remedy to the delusion of reification is wisdom. wisdom arises from insight. insight arises from practice, and the technique that focuses on the central issue, reification of self, is observing the observer.

Alan Wallace

primordial wisdom cannot be acquired. it is "free right where it is.” we do not release our thoughts by applying some kind of method, we simply stop grasping at them. when this is done, thoughts and feelings are released right where they are. when mind is settled in its natural state it becomes its own source of truth. when the problem is free of any inherent nature, the remedy is likewise free of inherent nature.

5. rest in the natural state, the basis of all

Wallace translates this slogan as: “the essential nature of the path is resting in the universal ground.”

our practice is not a place of seeking. universal truths cannot be contrived by thought. when we seek, the subject/object divide comes immediately into play: “i am here, but i want to be there”. the point of our practice is to let go of everything and experience ourselves as everything that is here now. there is nothing more to do, we can simply rest in this universal ground of Being.

the essential nature of the path is a state of awareness that is beyond the notion of emptiness or non-emptiness; beyond existence or non-existence; beyond past, present, or future, and beyond subject/object. the essential nature of the path is Great Emptiness.

Alan Wallace

it is not the “i” that rests in the natural state. the “i" is merely a conceptualization that we believe in. it has no independent existence. from the Buddhist perspective, there is only relative truth to “i” and “you.” our language and conventional ways of thinking reinforce these dualistic concepts, making them even more difficult to untangle. however, when we look within the apparent self or “i”, we find nothing but vivid, empty, luminous knowing, with no edges or boundaries. we find no “i”, we find only this vivid awareness within which objects arise and disappear.

now one realizes that the real nature of objective phenomena has never been separate from the real nature of subjective awareness. this is a universal truth, simply called tathata, or suchness, for it is finally beyond all articulation.

Alan Wallace

in Buddhist psychology, our everyday identified mind is viewed as a storehouse (alaya) of possibilities, each ripening when conditions are favourable. reflecting on this truth allows us to see that both our wisdom mind (alaya-jnana) and our deluded mind (alaya-vijnana) stem from the same source. peace, or nirvana, is found through perfect awareness, and pain, or samsara, through the wrong point of view. in order to develop perfect awareness during formal practice, we simply maintain a sense of bare awareness, free from thought, interpretation, or attempts to get the mind into a particular state. this allows us to observe the observer.

the teachings on emptiness claim that when we perceive others as independently existing, self-enclosed individuals, we are making an error of perception that has the potential to give rise to equally disturbing emotions — the stronger the illusion of self and other, the greater our fixation and emotional arousal.

Traleg Kyabgon

6. in postmeditation, be a child of illusion

this slogan speaks to the process of gradually bringing the insights on emptiness into our daily life. we want to know a seamless connection between meditation and the rest of our life. by maintaining the perspective of the insubstantial nature of objects and experiences outside of our formal practice, our ability to manage the discursiveness and reactiveness of mind deepens. we become better at seeing what is, and what we’ve added to what is through thinking or reactivity.

it is very easy to slip back into a personal view — “i’m the centre of everything occurring in my life” — and into personal narratives of self-pity, hopelessness, despair, resentment, or anger. from the lojong perspective, all of these reactions are the result of an impaired view of reality. the lojong reminds us to not take our lives too seriously, and to maintain a balance between our feelings for others and for ourselves.

“postmeditation" means between sessions of meditation. essentially, it refers to any time when we are not engaged in formal practice. “illusion" refers to our tendency to misperceive reality as a result of our investment in what we want and don’t want. if we can settle mind in awareness, and allow for stability of mind, virtue can flow unimpeded. and although mental afflictions will still arise, they will be more easily recognized and stepped away from.

when we have the same nonattachment in our daily life than we can attain in our formal practice, all events become less emotionally loaded. we see through our expectations, projections, and distortions. we respond, rather than react.

we’ve now concluded the slogans related to the cultivation of absolute bodhicitta. we started with regard all phenomena as dreams, which leads to the insight of being less fixated on objects and developing compassion for ourselves and others. then we turned the attention onto awareness itself (examine the nature of unborn awareness) in order to realize the insubstantiality of mind. self-liberate even the antidote leads to the realization that thought cannot penetrate universal truths. in rest in the natural state, the basis of all, we discern between the identified mind and the wisdom mind. and finally, with in postmeditation, be a child of illusion, we work to bring the insights from our practice into our daily life.

relative bodhicitta

the next four slogans relate to the cultivation of relative bodhicitta (compassion). these slogans are the source of skilful action. the lojong now balances the cultivation of wisdom with the cultivation of compassion. where wisdom looks into the mind, consciousness, or reality, compassion acts in the world, from the heart.

the practice of compassion is about cultivating a nonegoistic understanding of the world and learning to evaluate ourselves from that perspective. egoistic perception is always deluded and the cause of our emotional afflictions and deluded mental states.

Traleg Kyabgon

the cultivation of compassion is the training of the intelligence that is capable of transcending ego. this leads to a panoramic view, where we are aware of ego’s needs, and yet able to choose differently. we can choose based on what is best for the situation as a whole. this does not result in “acts of goodwill”, rather we are talking about transcendental states of consciousness that pervade our compassionate acts with intelligence and impartiality. Kyabgon points out that lojong practice is not only a method of contemplating life, but also a way to train the mind to think in a different way.

within the context of the lojong, compassion is best expressed as the four limitless ones:

may all sentient beings enjoy happiness and the root of happiness.
may they be free from suffering and the root of suffering.
may they not be separated from the great happiness devoid of suffering.
may they dwell in the great equanimity free from passion, aggression, and prejudice.

when the mind is filled with this intention, we naturally wish for others to be free of suffering. we generate this compassion by feeling our wish for others to be free of pain. Shantideva expresses this compassion best when he writes:

may i be a guard for those who are protectorless,
a guide for those who journey on the road.
for those who wish to go across the water,
may i be a boat, a raft, a bridge.

may i be an isle for those who yearn for landfall,
and a lamp for those who long for light;
for those who need a resting place, a bed;
for all who need a servant, may i be their slave.

for Kaybgon, the point of Shantideva’s expression is that compassionate action arises from compassionate thought. the same point is made by Yangonpa in his instructions on training the mind:

train your thoughts to ponder others’ well-being; this essential point ensures that everything you do becomes Dharma practice.

we can see that the practice of compassion is an ongoing part of our daily life. we slowly learn to keep ourselves and everyone else in this wish for goodness. we become aware of the true intentions behind our actions, and learn from this.

7. train in sending and taking alternatively, these two should ride the breath

the practice that we use to keep the mind focused on compassion is called tonglen, which literally means sending and taking, but is usually translated as exchanging oneself for others. Pema Chödrön— an American Tibetan Buddhist nun— was mainly responsible for bringing this advanced practice into general western consciousness.

the practice is counterintuitive in that it turns ego’s tendency to cling to what is good and reject what is bad on its head. it invites us to step into another’s shoes and take in the difficulty they are experiencing, while giving out relaxation, soothing, and healing.

as the slogan points out, we allow this sending and taking to ride the breath. we breathe in pain, difficulty, and suffering, and we breathe out release, lightness, and soothing. this is the only action that makes sense when our mind is filled with compassionate intent.

this practice is extremely beneficial because it trains us to stop thinking about everything from a defensive posture. the more selfish and egocentric we are, the more defensive we become. or we are filled with self-criticism and feel inadequate, resulting in a “not good enough” poverty consciousness. both of these perspectives place the focus on ourselves and make us the centre of everything.

the everyday practice is simply to develop a complete acceptance and openness to all situations and emotions, and to all people, experiencing everything totally without mental reservations and blockages, so that one never withdraws or centralizes onto oneself.

Chögyam Trungpa

tonglen as a formal practice

we begin by contemplating the preliminaries and allowing ourselves to settle the mind. then we engage the insight practices from the cultivation of absolute bodhicitta. once we attain the natural state, we rest in it, or the deepest state of silence we can attain. from this place we can commence our tonglen practice.

reflect on the people in your life who are suffering some form of pain. allow yourself to imagine the distress they experience. think of deprivation and poverty, the torment of mental illness, and the distress caused by emotional reactiveness. be willing to breathe in these difficulties, thereby empathically taking on others’ suffering. breathe out relaxation, healing, and acceptance.

now think of those in your life that are happy and contented. breathe in this contentment, and breathe out lightness, appreciation, and joy.

though tonglen is a part of the lojong practice, it also stands on its own as a practice for the cultivation of compassion.

Buddhism sees compassion as having two aspects. the first is the intention to benefit others, and then second, the actions flowing from this intention. true compassion is only possible if we have first generated absolute bodhicitta, as the cultivation of relative bodhicitta relies on pure intention. we are, therefore, stretching into the mind that realizes its own emptiness.

we can begin our practice by reminding ourselves of the insubstantiality of objects. we refer to the absolute bodhicitta slogans, discussed above. when we do tonglen practice outside the context of lojong, we can use the following four-stage practice developed by Pema Chödrön:

when the mind is settled;

1. flash a sense of openness (absolute bodhicitta)
2. work with the textures of claustrophobia and freshness
3. work with specific people or situations
4. expand the practice to include others.

the first stage lasts only a few seconds. we bring our attention to the mind that is resting in its natural state: an ultimate openness and spaciousness. we are connecting with what is expansive, inclusive, and open. images of vast open spaces such as a clear blue sky or the shore of the ocean may help to lead to the state, engendering a sense of peace and stillness.

in the second stage, we begin to focus on breathing in a sense of claustrophobia and breathing out freshness. we are acclimatizing bodymind to the willingness to endure, feel deeply, and accept.

this is the very essence of the tonglen outlook: when things are pleasant, think of others; when things are painful, think of others.

Pema Chödrön

in the third stage, we bring a particular situation or person to mind. this is where the practice becomes very real. whereas claustrophobia and freshness can still be engaged conceptually, now the practice becomes very close-up and personal.

if it helps, you can visualize the people or situation. allow yourself to breathe in the difficulties, and breathe out spaciousness, relaxation, and release. when we work with physical illness it is important to know that we are not releasing the person from their illness, but from the suffering accompanying their illness. we are also not breathing in their illness, but their suffering.

Chödrön points out that the inbreath and outbreath in tonglen are mutually interdependent. the more of the painfulness we can breathe in and allow, the more compassionate spaciousness, love, and strength will flow towards others. taking on others’ pain paradoxically does not compound our pain. in fact, it leaves us enriched and releases us from our small problems. with continued practice, it has a transformative effect on our mind.

that brings us to stage four, where we universalize the practice. whatever sense of compassion is felt is now expanded to all others, including all the people who may share this experience in some way, even those we do not know.

when our tonglen practice is complete we can simply return to our meditation practice.

our hearts are naturally open and compassionate, but because we fear painful emotions and situations, we create barriers to protect ourselves. in order to dissolve the barriers and open our hearts, we are willing to acknowledge and own the pain we feel and to ventilate it with loving-kindness and compassion. by relating to our own pain in an honest and compassionate way, we can open our hearts fully to others.

Pema Chödrön

tonglen on the spot

using tonglen in our everyday life can really clarify the mind. whenever we meet a situation that we find difficult, we can allow ourselves to slow down, breathe in the difficulty, and breathe out a sense of relief. Pema Chödrön calls tonglen a natural exchange: “you see suffering, you take it in with the inbreath, you send out relief with the outbreath…you can send out a general sense of relaxation and openness or something specific, like a hug or a kind word, or whatever feels right to you in the moment. it’s not all that conceptual; it’s almost spontaneous. when you contact a painful situation in this way and stay with it, it can open your heart and become the source of compassion.”

when, on the other hand, we experience fleeting moments of joy, appreciation, or gratitude, we can also slow down and notice the experience. we can allow ourselves to breathe in the openness, gentleness, and joy. we can experience our joy fully, and then think about others for who we want the same experience. another way to practice is to accept and allow our discomfort and pain when it is present, since it is already present. at the same time, we can wish for others to be free of the experience, and send them a sense of relief.

when Chögyam Trungpa first taught tonglen to western students, he began with everyday problems and difficulties, encouraging his students to do tonglen for themselves, on the spot, by breathing in whatever was difficult in the moment, and breathing out spaciousness and relaxation. the more we practice in this way, the more we become aware of how our pain connects us to all other people.

according to Pema Chödrön there are five typical obstacles that can arise when we practice tonglen:

becoming totally distracted by thoughts: when this happens, the best we can do is to simply stop and start afresh. if you are consistently distracted it will be better to focus on meditation practice and create a more stable mind before returning to tonglen practice.

feeling overwhelmed with strong emotion: sometimes we react to what we feel empathically by either breaking down in tears or becoming numb to the experience. we need to learn how far we can go and how much we can allow. lean in as far as you can, without leaving yourself bereft. at the same time, practice holding more and staying in the difficult emotions. we’re training the heart to be capable of holding anything that we can experience. with time, we learn to relate to our pain differently, using our capacity for compassion. we come to know very deeply that our emotions cannot harm us. they may move us, but they cannot physically hurt us. feeling overwhelmed can indicate that we fear taking the pain of others into ourselves. if this happens, try to stay with the other’s pain, and send them relief. it is also helpful to remember that our pain is not only ours. it belongs to everyone, and connects us with everyone.

if we are psychologically prepared to take on difficulties, our trials and pains might not be so troubling. the samsaric mind is very weak and easily provoked, but when the mind is strong, its capacities are greatly enhanced. in lojong practice, everything else is supplementary.

Traleg Kyabgon

feeling emotionally numb: sometimes during tonglen practice we can’t connect to our heart and have no feelings at all. we may even blank out. the best remedy for this problem is to start doing tonglen on the spot, as discussed above. practice wherever you see helplessness or heart-breaking reality, or whenever you feel uptight or angry.

fear of being polluted: remember that you cannot take on another person’s illness through the practice of tonglen. you are practicing relieving the painfulness on both sides. Sogyal Rinpoche invites us to imagine that we are breathing in darkness that dissolves the armor around the heart. the armor around our heart is the solidification of ego, or identity. tonglen helps us to soften this armor, and to dissolve the fear of pain and discomfort.

not knowing what to send out: when we overthink, we can easily fall into analyzing the right thing to send instead of staying with the practice. for many of us, words like “kindness,” or “compassion,” bring up some feeling or resonance, and we can begin there. sometimes it is helpful to simply send spaciousness, or a sense of relaxation and relief. we can also send something physical, like a hug, or simply some cheerfulness.

the following three slogans help us to maintain awareness in postmeditation (our daily life).

8. three objects, three poisons, three seeds of virtue

according to Buddhism, we have three typical reactions to the world around us. those people we have great affection for become objects of desire, those we have an aversion to become objects of anger, and those who are strangers and don’t interest us become objects of ignorance. the three poisons, then, are desire, aversion, and ignorance.

this slogan tells us that we can turn the three poisons into three seeds of virtue. the virtues arise when we become free of attachment, aversion, and ignorance. this requires us to relate to the three objects in different ways. we do this by becoming aware of how interchangeable these objects are. for example, we can come to hate someone we loved, or an enemy may become a close friend. seeing this constant interchange helps us to reach into true compassion, because we realize that everyone suffers this reality. during formal practice, we focus on seeing everything as a dream, and returning to the natural state of the mind. this practice also makes it easier to know true compassion, and to change our actions accordingly.

thus, when enemies or friends
are seen to act improperly,
be calm and call to mind
that everything arises from conditions.
Shantideva

when we take a lojong perspective, we don’t only grow through our friends, but also through those who seem to make our life more difficult. we don’t develop virtues in the absence of vices, but by dealing with our vices. our problems are the very places where we can change our relationship, to the situation, the person, or both.

9. in all activities, train with slogans

we can use these slogans, or even our own slogans, in all situations in life. remember, it’s not a matter of remembering the words. the aim of the slogans is to bring about a real change in how we perceive the world. if we work with these slogans, and come to understand their subtleties, we will easily see how we can use them to interrupt our negativity, our strong emotions, and our cognitive distortions. “in all activities, train with slogans” challenges us, in every circumstance, to find the slogan that will help us to return to joy, and in particular rejoicing in others’ happiness. when we can feel happy for others, we can also feel happy ourselves. these slogans present a powerful antidote to envy. the depth to which we can find happiness for others is the depth of freedom that we will feel.

10. begin the sequence of exchange with yourself

when we feel disappointed or angry with another, we often feel that they should show some change before we would be willing to change. this slogan directly challenges this attitude. when we’re upset, it is best to think about how others feel, and how they may be experiencing the situation. in this way, we learn to empathize, to feel into and with others. this takes us away from self-absorption and a “me-first” attitude.

those desiring speedily to be
a refuge for themselves and other beings.
should interchange the terms of “i” and “other,”
and thus embrace a sacred mystery.
Shantideva

the slogans above all belong to point two: cultivating bodhicitta. as a whole, they provide us with a clear structure for our formal meditation practice. we can start by reconsidering the preliminaries and bringing the mind to stillness. in this stillness we can contemplate the absolute bodhicitta slogans, allowing ourselves to see into the nature of mind as well as the nature of bodhicitta. from this emptiness, we bring tonglen practice to mind, working with one person or situation. finally, we can finish our session by contemplating the three poisons, and reminding ourselves to focus on others in difficult situations.

every Buddhist practice, including Dzogchen, Mahamudra, and Vajrayana, is aimed at just those two things: ultimate and relative bodhicitta. the effectiveness of practice is measured by the decrease of self-grasping and self-centeredness.

Alan Wallace