type 4 instincts

personality structure

in order to find the love of self that they have disconnected from, type twos strive to have a likeable image, type threes to create an image of achievement and value, and type fours present themselves as unique and special. they value connections with others based on authenticity. the type four’s relationship to emotion is both primary and complicated as their coping strategy involves an attachment to certain emotions as a protection against others. Naranjo points out that the type four identifies with those aspects of the psyche that fail the idealized image and is therefore always striving to achieve the unattainable. in this way the type four’s desire for admiration leads to a sense of failure because of a continuing sense of scarcity and worthlessness.

most type fours have experienced actual loss of love in early life. children often interpret experiences of loss as being their own fault, and there can be an accompanying sense that “nothing can be done in order to regain what has been lost”. a sense of irredeemable deficiency arises and is maintained by the cognitive process. in this way, the type four focuses on what was lost and simultaneously interprets the self as “bad” as a way of explaining or controlling the loss. they often get stuck in feelings of grief, melancholy, and shame, which makes it difficult to open up and receive any love from others. type fours end up seeing themselves as “not good enough” as a defense against opening up to love, which contains the possibility of the worst pain of all: re-experiencing the early loss. they tend to pursue unattainable people and engage in “push-pull” patterns in relationship.

defense mechanism: introjection

introjection is a psychological defense through which painful feelings are internalized in order to protect oneself (from even more painful feelings inside). what is outside is mistaken as arising from inside. it is, therefore, the opposite of projection. for example, if someone criticizes you, the criticism is experienced as coming from inside, so that there is no way to externalize it. the type four then becomes identified with the criticism.

attention fixation

type fours primarily focus on their internal experience, their emotions, the emotions of others, and interpersonal connection and disconnection. fundamentally they focus on thinking about and expressing feeling as well as what others may be thinking and feeling about them. although they can easily pick up on a range of emotions, they tend to get lost in a narrow band of emotion (typically sadness, loss, melancholy, or hopelessness). when trapped like this, they find it hard to move attention to other aspects of their experience. in relationship they feel both like a misfit and at the same time have a need to stand out as unique or special. fantasies therefore revolve around being judged negatively, or garnering praise from important people. type fours will also automatically focus on what is absent from a relationship or situation. in the face of feelings of dissatisfaction, the type four often loses their sense of agency. it is hard for them to take action, even though taking action may set them free from the emotion holding them hostage. they may then create drama as a way of distracting themselves from painful emotional truths. finally, they may revert to focusing on the past, replaying painful scenes and hurts again and again, reliving the shame, or loss.

emotional passion: envy

envy organizes the personality around a sense that what is valued and needed is outside of you and somehow unavailable. it grows from a sense of personal deficiency, or the sense of things coming easy to others, but not oneself. this tendency to compare ignites the type four’s painful sense of lack and shame. whereas the envy contributes to a longing for love and acceptance, the sense of shame arises from needing and not feeling worthy of love. the specific experience and expression of envy, however, differ by subtype.

cognitive mistake: “i dream of getting the love i won’t ever have”

the type four’s cognitive mistake centers on the underlying belief that they are lacking in some important quality which would make them worthy of love. therefore, they believe it inevitable that they will be rejected or abandoned. consequently, it becomes logical to not be open to love, since this would start the journey towards “inevitable abandonment.” expecting the worst, they create the worst. following are some of the key beliefs and assumptions of the type four:

this varying belief in deficiency perpetuates feelings of hopelessness, melancholy, and depression and finally leads to the type four trap: the type four paradoxically seeks happiness through pain. getting trapped in the various ways their sense of deficiency generates pain as a defense against the fear of not getting what they want. whilst they long for love and understanding, they habitually prevent themselves from receiving the love they seek. either through rejecting themselves as unworthy, invalidating the love they do receive, creating drama, and suffering. all this invalidation is an obstacle to healthy relationships, and proactively abandoning their efforts before they are abandoned.

type 4 shadow

type fours actively feel, and may even take comfort in, feelings like anger, disappointment, fear, grief, and shame — emotions that others prefer to deny or avoid. in contrast to most other types therefore, the type four’s positive aspects are mostly shadowed (unconscious). the good things about themselves that they do not own or see. they don’t recognize their inherent capacity for growth, lovability, beauty, or power. and since so much of their attention is on what is lacking, they tend not to see what is positive in their immediate and present life.

envy also leads to the externalization of “goodness,” and is sometimes described as over-desiring. their insatiable need for love, a love that was not forthcoming at some point in their lives, leads to an unconscious fear of not being good enough for it. these shadow aspects keep them from being able to access that part of themselves that could more confidently open up to fully participating in the kind of love connections they dream about. since so much of their natural feeling capacity belongs to a collective shadow, a type four easily takes on the carrying of this collective shadow and becomes the tragic hero or the martyr. they make effective targets of others’ projections because they cannot help but be aware of the aspects that others don’t want to see and own. and because they are prone to introjection, those aspects feel like they come from the inside rather than the outside.

SP type 4: "tenacity" (countertype)

the SP type four is the countertype as they tend to communicate their envy and suffering less that the other subtypes. instead of talking about their pain, they are long-suffering and learn to endure the pain without wincing. they are therefore more stoic and stronger in the face of pain. the SP type four works hard to get what their envy sees in others. however, whatever they get never feels enough. they learn to swallow a lot without complaint. endurance is a virtue to them, and they hope that their self-sacrifice will be recognized and appreciated. their willingness to suffer without complaint is their way of seeking redemption and earning love.

the SP type four demands a lot from themself. they have a strong need to endure and so learn to do without. they put themselves in situations that are tough and typically test and challenge themselves. they have a passion for effort and may often appear strained and tense. they don’t allow themselves the experience of living from or in their sensitivity.

they tend to be humanitarian with an empathetic and nurturing disposition, the kind of person who protests for the sake of others and is sensitive to the needy, the dispossessed, and the victims of injustice. in this way they address their own pain in the pain of others. they also avoid dealing with their own pain. the SP type four is often masochistic rather than melodramatic. masochism is their strategy for getting love. SP type fours devalue themselves in important ways, making it even tougher to get the love they long for. they may also masochistically enact a need to prove themselves by working against themselves. they may want to be happy but experience an unconscious taboo against happiness, habitually postponing actions necessary to achieving what they want and then blaming themselves for doing so.

SO type 4: "shame"

the social type four appears emotionally sensitive (or oversensitive), feels things deeply, and suffers more than most people. there is a desire to be witnessed and seen in their suffering. they hope that if their suffering is recognized, they may be forgiven for their failures and deficiencies and loved unconditionally. they are often described as lamenting too much and putting themselves in the victim role. they can appear self-sabotaging because they undermine themselves by being too attached to the causes of their suffering. in this subtype, envy fuels a focus on shame and suffering by providing a constant source of pain: the feeling that others have what they want. at the same time, they believe that their suffering makes them special or unique (suffering is the shortest path to heaven) and therefore acts as a kind of seduction to others. while there is some truth to the path of transformation not being easy, this higher ideal becomes distorted in justifying the expression of dissatisfaction as a way of attracting help from others. the SO type four rationalizes their attachment to suffering instead of doing something about it. therefore, they may depend too much on others for having their needs fulfilled.

the essential issue for the SO type four though is not suffering, but inferiority. there may be a need for self-abasement and self-recrimination, turning against the self. they tend to compare themselves with others, concluding that they are inferior. to others, this extremity can be surprising. they have a poor self-image which they perpetuate. they also frequently engage in self-sabotage, regularly underestimating themselves, always feeling “less-than.”

SO type fours tend to feel a sense of shame about their wants and needs, and their experience of desire is associated with more guilt than other types. they may feel guilty for every wish. they are too shy to express desires, except through a display of suffering. they do not compete with others as much as devalue themselves. unconscious competition may be at play but will be more hidden and subtle than in the case of the SX type four. the SO type four tends to think with their emotions and get caught up in and identified with intense emotions. they may be generous to others, but fail to take responsibility for their own lives.

SX type 4: "competition"

in the SX type four, envy is an inner motivation and manifests as competition. when they can compete with another, and perceive themselves as being superior, it puts an end to the pain of envy. for them it’s best to be superior. they are highly competitive, and their intense focus on competition manifests as actively striving to show that they are the best. there is also an “all or nothing” attitude, so if success is not all theirs, they feel they are being left with nothing. this pattern leads to excesses relating to success and also generates deep feelings of hatred. the SX type four can be arrogant, despite having an underlying sense of inferiority. they like to be part of a chosen group and can be very elitist. they may also feel that they have the exclusive right to feel offended by a lack of consideration from others. any criticism is seen as an affront. envious anger dominates the expression of their unconscious instinctual impulses. their instinctual motivation is to refuse to suffer the pain brought about by envy, to project the responsibility for meeting their needs onto others, and to minimize others’ accomplishments.

the SX type four makes others suffer as compensation for the suffering that they have felt. they may seek to hurt or punish others as a way of repudiating their own pain. “hurt people go on to hurt other people.” externalizing their pain helps them ease their own sense of inferiority. their relationship to pain is the refusal to have pain. this gets expressed as an active insistence on their needs being validated and met. they want with anger. more shameless than shameful, SX type fours are vocal about expressing their needs and follow a life philosophy of "the squeaky wheel gets the grease.”

SX type four gets mad when their needs are not met, and at the same time their demanding nature may cause people to reject them. the SX type four is more assertive and angrier than the other type four subtypes. Naranjo calls them the “mad four,” where the other subtypes are the “sad four.” expression of their anger is a way of defending against painful feelings. the SX type four likes and needs emotional intensity. without this intensity everything can be unbearably dull or boring.

summarized and adapted from Beatrice Chestnut: The Complete Enneagram