integration for type 3

wing 2 integration

type threes have a painful need for admiration and respect. they fear failure and will adjust to their environment to project its image of success. then, when their lack of authenticity is pointed out, they feel scorned. by integrating their type two wing, type threes become more sensitive to the feelings of others, as well as their own. they become more generous with time and resources and let go of their intense competitive edge. they now focus on helping others in their personal or professional lives. the more integrated type threes value people as individual, and not merely contributors.

wing 4 integration

through integrating their type four wing, type threes gain access to their feeling life. without the integration of this wing, type threes will simply repress their feelings to focus on outcomes. with integration, they become able to engage more emotionally and personally. as the type three matures, it moves from “doing” to “being”. this results in a deeper personal presence, where their interior is valued, and authenticity becomes possible. they will also be aware of the development of their own creative and empathic capacities.

release point

integrating mature type 6 qualities

like all the image (feeling) types, type threes are at risk of becoming self-absorbed and letting their thoughts be dominated only by their own goals and aspirations. as they integrate their image with reality, they become more self-aware and other-aware. they begin to realize that, just as they can depend on themselves, they can rely on others and their support in shared doing. they can be more practical and cooperative, like the mature type six. in this release point, the type three also experiences greater analytical ability, insightfulness, and deeper awareness of their own reactions.

stress point

overcoming immature type 9 qualities

during times of great stress, type threes may experience some immature characteristics of the type nine. this includes the apathetic “giving up” attitude that the immature type nines can assume. when type threes are blocked from success for whatever reason (typically by their tendency to cut corners), they are at risk of developing this sense of defeat. overcoming this means that the type three has to develop their capacity for patience and seeing wholeness, available to the mature type nine. this not only enables the type three to slow down but, more importantly, to develop the capacity to be relaxed under pressure. the type three then no longer fears failure, or even sees failure. they see the beautiful and rich path of learning to be free from desired outcomes.

non-resourceful state

during stressful situations, type threes overcompensate with their capacity for doing, and become more efficient, organized, and frenetic. they typically over-extend in taking on projects and staying on the move, introducing themselves to others, and advertising themselves in their social circles. when they experience failure and the disillusionment of their ideal, they can fall into dark moods of doubting themselves, numbing themselves, avoiding responsibilities, and resignation. in this state they believe that their worst fear has come true: they have no value. they feel the despair of failure, not realizing that they did not fail the world, but only their projected ideal, which was always a fantasy.

resourceful state

when type threes are in a resourceful and relaxed state, they get in touch with their inner feelings, preferences, and desires. they are emotionally honest and resist changing themselves to manipulate or influence others. they show their true colours. the resourceful type three is loyal to themselves and to their values. they stay with what they believe in, rather than switching to what is popular. they are also loyal to others. the type three becomes trustworthy as well as competent. this combination makes them good leaders and managers. they cooperate with others, rather than competing with them. they trust that others will get things done in their own way and in their own time. they no longer see “failure,” but rather “learning.” this loosens the hold of their idealized image and helps them connect with their real self as much as others. as they are now able to say to themselves “i am loyal, i do what i want to do,” they believe they are acceptable as themselves. “i am, therefore i am active” replaces “i perform and produce, therefore i am o.k.”

recommendations for type 3

• for real development, it is essential to be truthful. in other words, to be vulnerable and honest with yourself and others about your genuine motivations, feelings, and needs. likewise, resist the temptation to impress others or inflate your importance. you will impress people more deeply by being authentic than by bragging about your successes or exaggerating your accomplishments.
• develop generosity and cooperation in your relationships. you can do this by taking time to pause in your busy day to really connect with someone you care about. nothing spectacular is required — simply a few moments of quiet attention. when you do so, you will learn empathy and be a more desirable friend. you will also be less insecure about yourself because you will be in touch with yourself.
• take breaks. you can drive yourself and others to exhaustion with your relentless pursuit of your goals. ambition and self-development are good qualities, but temper them with rest periods, in which you reconnect more deeply with yourself. sometimes just noticing the world outside your mind is a wonderful recharger.
• develop your social awareness. when the type three becomes involved in work which has a common goal, rather than their private outcome, they mature. working cooperatively with others toward goals that transcend personal interest is a powerful way of finding your true value and identity. it is not in what you do, but in who you are.
• in their desire to be accepted by others, some type threes adapt so much to the expectations of others that they lose touch with what they are really feeling about any situation. it is imperative that you invest time in discovering your own motivators, values, and emotions.

summarized from Riso & Hudson, Lapid-Bogda