integration for type 2

wing 1 integration

type twos fear being unworthy or unlovable. their keen sensitivity to rejection can leave them feeling humiliated and dejected. by integrating their type one wing, this emotionality becomes balanced by reason and objectivity. they can then find fulfillment in dedicating themselves to a cause or a task, and become more discerning about situations and individuals. integrating the type one wing also helps them to be more assertive and less influenced by what others think. they become more emotionally honest, and recognize and fulfill their own needs more easily.

wing 3 integration

with the type three wing integrated, type twos become more comfortable being the center of attention. they are more comfortable leading than following. they are more in contact with their own desires, and come to value respect as much as being liked. integrating the type three wing also gives them more of a success orientation, as well as the skills of organizing and delegating.

release point

integrating mature type 4 qualities

type fours naturally withdraw into themselves and are thus in touch with their own emotions and needs. type twos benefit deeply from integrating those qualities. type twos grow when they practice the virtue of altruism, which is helping others for the sake of helping others, with no other motivation behind it. true altruism is, by necessity, a humble venture (i do not need to receive something back for my generosity). this humility acts as an antidote to the prideful temptation to exaggerate their self-image. the type two now sees reality more clearly, and recognizes the need to explore their own feelings and desires with more acuity. this enables them to become more realistic and less sentimental. the type two becomes aware that the “love of my image,” is not the “love of self.” they have now integrated the emotional depth and creativity of the mature type four.

stress point

overcoming immature type 8 qualities

being a type two can often be a thankless job. while their generous acts are often appreciated, the vice of pride may result in type twos having an inflated opinion of their own deeds. pride, in the context of the Enneagram, means “a love of one’s own goodness.” this pride also has a tendency to cloud objectivity, and can lead to type twos feeling vastly unappreciated. the gentle and inclusive type two then disintegrates into its stress state, taking on the qualities of the immature type eight. type twos then become resentful, aggressive, and domineering. they demand the love they believe they deserve, and forget that their acts of generosity were performed in service of their own agenda. pride can also swell into its most pronounced form, where type twos can feel that even the appreciation they do receive is not enough.

reflecting on this, you may see how this stress point can only be integrated once the type two has matured extensively. type twos would have to overcome their own investment in self-image, and express their generous nature simply because they can, and not because they want something. this is only possible when their needs are clear to them and they know the means of fulfilling those needs. this facilitates a deepened sense of personal power, with greater boldness and candor.

non-resourceful state

when type twos are stressed, they become more helpful and travel around a “rescue triangle”: first, they assume the role of “rescuer” — “i feel bad, so you must be made better” (projection). when this does not lead to attention or affirmation, they become the “victim”, and will reproach the other for not appreciating and caring for them adequately. type twos then lose touch with their gentleness and compassion, becoming hard and tough, in order to protect their self-image (idealization). they become bitter, jaded, and distrustful of others, to the point that they become the “persecutor”, making others feel guilty, and desiring to get even.

resourceful state

when type twos are in a resourceful or relaxed state, they get in touch with their own needs, wants, and feelings. they put their needs on the table and negotiate getting them met. they allow others to give to them freely without doing anything to earn their love. they can say “no” even when they feel guilty. they allow others to be more autonomous and avoid cultivating dependence-based relationships. they find other ways of expressing themselves besides giving, such as developing their creative, artistic, and refined self and capabilities.

they are now able to say to themselves “i am special,” and believe they are lovable just because they are. “i am, therefore i am loving” replaces “i give, in order to be accepted.” at the deepest point of integration, they know they are love, and generosity becomes their way of life.

recommendations for type 2

summarized from Riso & Hudson, Lapid-Bogda