expanding emotional awareness

when we become aware of our emotions and their associated thought-action processes, we begin to recognize patterns in our behavior that would otherwise remain unconscious. when we make these connections, we can also identify places where we want to bring about change. knowing ourselves more deeply in this way allows us to make better decisions, and to relate more deeply with others.

think of it this way: if you don’t know which city you are in, no map in the world is going to help you. similarly, when we don’t fully know our emotional self, we constantly end up in places we did not intend to be.

use the following tool to track some of your experiences, and particularly when your experience feels very negative (reactive).

situation feeling intesity (0-10) thoughts action(s)

any situation where you have a lot of emotion or feel upset.

going into specialist’s rooms.

when the feeling is very vague, like “not good,” or “depressed,” notice what is happening in your body, or notice what your actions, movements, or posture are telling you about your feelings.

i notice that my feet are dragging (i don’t want to be here) and my heart is racing (i’m anxious)

or

use the feeling wheel below to help you identify what you are feeling.

fear.

decide on the intensity of your feelings. a lower number indicates less intensity.

anxiety: 5
fear: 8

try to remember what you were thinking in the situation, and if that’s not clear, write down what you would typically be thinking in a situation like that.

“this probably won’t help, but i cannot get out."

"i wonder if this person even knows what he’s doing."

"this is going to be so exposing and embarrassing."

"i don’t have a choice, because i really want to feel better."

anything you are doing as a result of your feeling, or to cope with your feeling.

i do nothing, which may mean i’m holding it all inside.