Enneagram type 3 — the achiever

performer, motivator, producer

type threes need to be validated in order to feel worthy. they pursue success and want to be admired. they are frequently hard working, competitive, and are highly focused on the pursuit of their goals, whether their goal is to be the most successful salesman in the company or the “sexiest” woman in their social circle.

often “self-made”, type threes usually find some area in which they can excel and thus find the external approval which they so desperately need. type threes are socially competent, often extraverted, and sometimes charismatic. they know how to present themselves, and are often self-confident, practical, and driven. type threes have a lot of energy and often seem to embody a kind of zest for life that others find contagious. they are good networkers who know how to rise through the ranks. but, while type threes do tend to succeed in whatever realm they focus their energies, they are often secretly afraid of being or becoming “losers.”

type threes can sometimes find intimacy difficult. their need to be validated for their image often hides a deep sense of shame about who they really are, a shame they unconsciously fear will be unmasked if another gets too close. they are often generous and likable, but difficult to really know. when unhealthy, their narcissism takes an ugly turn, and they can become cold blooded and ruthless in the pursuit of their goals. because it is central to the type three fixation to require external validation, type threes often, consciously and unconsciously, attempt to embody the image of success that is promoted by their culture.

type threes get into trouble when they confuse true happiness, which depends on inner states, with the image of happiness which society has promoted. if a type three has a “good” job and an “attractive” mate, they might be willing, through an act of self-deception which is also self-betrayal, to ignore the inner promptings which tell them that neither their job, nor their mate are fulfilling their deeper needs. even the most “successful” type threes, who generally appear quite happy, often hide a deeply felt sense of meaninglessness. the attainment of the image never quite satisfies.

basic propsition — to gain love, recognition and acceptance through performance, doing, and success.

strengths — enthusiastic, action-oriented, problem-solving, successful, efficient, practical, and competent.

challenges — image-driven, over-worked, impatient, competitive, out of touch with feelings.

defense mechanism — identification — taking on a role so completely that we lose contact with who we are interiorly:

type threes use identification to avoid failure and maintain a self-image of being successful. the pressure to keep up a winning image prevents access to personal feelings and needs, and blocks type threes from feeling appreciated and loved for who they are rather than what they do.

type 3 self-mastery indicators

what it means what it looks like in type 3
low
self-mastery
  • primarily reactive
  • low productivity behavior
  • low personality integration
  • deep identification with beliefs
 the calculator

phony, self-serving, and opportunistic • go after whatever they want, with little regard for whatever stands in their way • extremely isolated • have an inner emptiness, believing that they are their image or facade.
moderate
self-mastery
  • responds mainly from habit
  • some personality integration
  • more flexible to change
 the star

driven, productive, effective, competitive, and focused primarily on work, often at the expense of relationships • seek recognition and like to outdo rivals • appear friendly, but emotional responses sometimes more role-based than authentic • at times, uncertain themselves of who they really are.
high
self-mastery
  • aware of inner experience
  • responds productively, flexibly
  • high personality integration
  • self-acceptance
 the believer

understand who they really are (aside from what they accomplish) and what they truly feel • admit weaknesses • enthusiastic, genuine, and truly confident • trust they are not responsible for making everything happen.

awareness practice

observe your habit of mind or focus of attention — focusing on tasks, goals and recognition for accomplishment — with as little judgment as possible. ask yourself the following questions, while noticing your feelings and how your body responds:

type 3 in business

the adaptable, ambitious type. driven, focused, excelling, and image conscious. type threes know how to work efficiently to get the job done according to customer expectations. often attractive, charming, and energetic, they are conscious of the image they project of themselves as well as of their team and company. they like getting recognition and are attracted to success and positions of prestige. they can be competitive and workaholics, driven by the need for status and personal advancement, deteriorating into cutting corners to stay ahead. at their best, they are accomplished and admirable, often seen as inspiring role models by others.

what they look for

social suitability, competence, admirability, and attractiveness

what gets in the way

insisting on putting career and social status before relationship; manipulating by charming others and by adopting whatever image will work.

leadership paradigm

performance oriented, with an emphasis on creating environments that achieve results based on understanding the organization’s goals and structures.

natural qualities as leader

with their clear-thinking strategies, type threes have a natural goal-focused vision, which can easily surpass competitors. their drive, organizational skills, and ability to form strategic relationships contribute to success. they are also highly personable and engaging and may show strong charisma and personal reputation. they have a natural tendency for developing new practices and may contribute to the academic understanding of theories in their field.

areas for development

with their heavy work and travel schedules, these leaders are often inaccessible to those who may need contact on a regular basis. although they may try to make up for this lack in terms of arranging high quality programs for their employees, these events can lead to resentment, as employees may feel they are required to attend, regardless of their own personal obligations. these programs tend to be fast-paced, highly structured and have little time for relaxation. the type three leader may also be oversensitive when it comes to criticism, no matter how sensitively it is stated. this sensitivity is often based on the type three’s difficulty to be vulnerable and to be seen as weak.

focal points for self-awareness and leadership

ultimate development goal

  • realizing that love comes from who we are, not from what we do
  • realizing that everything that is done happens according to natural laws and does not depend on individual effort alone

what hinders growth

  • impatience in dealing with feelings within self and others
  • working to the point of fatigue and exhaustion
  • not slowing down.

furthering growth

  • stop from time to time to ask yourself “what am i feeling?”
  • take time out to stop and be without a goal. learn to do simple things like having a walk for its own sake.
  • ask trusted friends to tell you when they feel you are not being real, and listen even if you feel that they are wrong.
  • notice yourself changing your image, words or approach in order to please. ask yourself whether this is who you really are.
  • pay attention to physical sensations, especially tiredness.
  • use your expanding knowledge of physical sensations as clues to what you may be feeling.
  • notice yourself speeding or acting mechanically, multitasking and postponing your emotions. slow down.
  • use your frustration as a reminder to take a broader look rather than to knuckle down and attack the goal harder.
  • work on valuing empathy and connection as highly as status.
  • acknowledge to yourself and be truthful about weakness and failure. feeling like a fraud is a good sign of recognizing that you have not been in contact with who you are.
  • ask yourself what really matters to you, in your work and in your leisure and make time to pursue it.

specific leadership development

  • pay more attention to the impact on people — your focus on goals and achievement can intensify your impact on people. think through a human impact analysis each time you make a decision about a process or goal and take the results seriously.
  • go slow on the competitiveness — remember that what is closest to people is often not based on completion or something that has to be won or at least not lost. make sure that your conversations are not debates on effectivity but become collaboration through your openness and receptivity.
  • consciously tell the whole truth about yourself — when you feel yourself wanting to impress others, consciously stop doing this. become more familiar with the whole truth behind your facade of impressing others.

adapted from different sources including Ginger Lapid-Bogda, Don Riso & Russ Hudson